Christmas Countdown!

The countdown is on the calendar...along with two other countdowns...and it gets confusing. One counts down to Christmas...of course. One counts down to Max's eighth birthday and the last one counts down to Alex's 10th birthday. Wow! And I count down the hours until the kids will be tucked into their beds and the house will be quiet! This week has been crazy with 3 snow days off from school. The kids have gone stir crazy and I have been sick, so I couldn't do anything fun with them. Oh well. There will be other days!

Today I am feeling better, but not 100% yet. I made Max's birthday cake today. I used my Mom's recipe for both cake and frosting. I can't wait to see how it turned out. It is a chocolate cake with chocolate frosting and peanut butter frosting as the trim and writing. Looks tasty to me!

I am trying to figure out what in the world to buy for my wonderful husband for Christmas. I had an idea but he didn't like it...and it was too expensive. Most of the things he wants cost way too much and therefore he continues to live without them. For myself, I have lists of books, music and random other stuff that I would love to have that are pretty inexpensive. I asked him why he couldn't come up with a bunch of ideas for me to choose from. He then proceeded to tell me two things that he wouldn't mind having. I need to find something perfect for him. Something that means a lot to him. I am stumped. I don't like giving meaningless, useless gifts. I want it to be something he would really enjoy. Send ideas my way!!

Crazy Week!

This has been a crazy week already and it's only Wednesday. Lyssa woke up with a yucky runny nose on Monday, so I called and ordered more Silver right away. We were almost out. She has not been sick at all this first year of her life. Amazing. What a contrast between her and the boys. They were always sick. I was always at the doctor's office and they always had an antibiotic. After much change in out lives we are sick less often. You can't prevent it 100% of the time, but you sure can make a huge difference in the health of your family.

So, because she is never sick, she is very fussy. All she wants is Mommy to hold her and carry her and nurse her. I have had so much to get done. You can't get a lot done with a sick child either. It is now Wednesday and I am almost done with what needs to be done for tomorrow night. At least I have tomorrow during the day to wrap things up.

I am craving some quiet time with a good book right now. I think I might get a little of it too! I am also in need of some exercise. I have not done well lately with that at all. I got all out of whack during the summer and it's like pulling teeth to get back into a good routine again. If Lady Bug would sleep better at night I could get up early, but I can barely drag myself out of bed at 6:30am just to get TJ up for school. It's nuts. I know that exercise will help reduce my stress and will give me more energy and yet I just can find the energy to do it. What a vicious cycle. Ugh!

I am going to go upstairs in the quiet living room, sit on my comfy couch, put out my book and escape to a new world for a while!

Good Health

Don't they say that you don't appreciate something until it's gone. Well, I think that sometimes I take for granted that I am in good health. Then on days like Monday I wish and pray with all my might that the pain will somehow go away.

I have had a burning in my upper abdomen, just below my sternum. It is usually accompanied by gas and bloating. It is very painful. Monday I went to bed with a warm rice bag against my tummy. Tuesday I woke up feeling better but not 100%. Later in the afternoon the pain started in again. I wanted to curl up in a ball. But I had to go to the church that night, so I had Todd get me some Pepto Bismal to help ease the pain. After talking to my awesome Chiropractor we determined that it might be an ulcer. He asked me if I was stressed and I just laughed. I have learned that when I think I am not stressed, I usually am. So, he started me on a supplement to help. Wednesday morning I was doing better but by the afternoon I was starting to hurt again. I took a nap and started to feel better. Today, Thursday, I have felt pretty good; Just tired due to not feeling well. I have still been taking the supplement and I am also making sure to eat bland foods. Saltine crackers are my friend. I am hoping that this will heal quickly and I will be able to eat normal foods again. The only kicker is that I need to find a way to relax and not get stressed out!

One way to help my stress is to keep up on my budget. I am doing that this week and it helps me feel better about our finances. Whew! I'm still working on other ways to reduce my stress. I know that I can do it with the Lord's help. That is the only way to get through; with the Lord by my side. I am so thankful for Him and His love for me.

Colin

Colin was a brave boy. He loved to pretend. He had blond hair and mischievous blue eyes. Some times he would pretend to be a pirate. Other times he would be an explorer. Today Colin was a scientist. He was looking for bugs, and toads and worms and other things that boys like. Then he saw a big fat toad hiding in the flower bed. Colin’s eyes grew wide. Hurray! A Toad! He reached down and swiftly grabbed the back of the toad. He held it up to admire his catch. A grin spread across his face. He hugged the frog to his chest and said, “ I will call you Toady.” He loved his new toad. He held Toady out in front of him to examine him. Toady had dark circles on his back and he was kind of a gray color on his legs and belly. He played and pretended with Toady and they became great friends. But then Toady slipped out of his hands and hopped quickly away into a muddy drain. Colin was sad. He missed his friend Toady. Each day when Colin would go outside to play he would look for Toady, hoping that he would find him again. Then one day Colin was playing near some mud in the backyard and he spotted Toady. Hurray! Colin quickly gathered Toady up into his arms and hugged him again. At last they could play again. He pretended that Toady was a super hero and he flew him through the air. Then Colin’s Mommy told him that Toady probably didn’t like to play that way. So, Colin just held him while he walked around the back yard.


This is a true story. I find it so cute how kids love to play with animals and reptiles and such, but I always wonder how traumatized the poor things are when the child is done flying then through the air like Superman! I found this on my computer when I was cleaning out today and thought it was a cute story to share! Have a super day!

I am Thankful!

I am so thankful for so many things. I feel so filled with joy at this moment. I am thankful for:

A wonderful Husband
a sweet TJ
a funny Alex
a silly Max
a mischievous Colin
a smiling Alyssa
Laughter
Awesome parents
Sisters...need I say more?
Family...that about says it all!
Dear Friends far and near
pictures
memories
Autumn
warm fuzzy socks
cozy sweaters and sweat shirts
Christmas music
Holidays
My Savior
The gospel
a warm home
a comfy, worn out couch
food to eat
good books to read
happiness
talents
yummy food

I could go on and on. I feel so blessed right now. There may be stress and craziness in life but sometimes Heavenly Father opens a window and shows you all of your awesome blessings and life isn't so hard for a while. I love it! Have a warm, cozy, comfortable day!

Sigh!

Fall is still in the air. Here and there the leaves are clinging to the branches desperately. The rain falls in an attempt to force the stubborn ones from their branches way up high. Yet some still remain, giving off their glorious colors for all to see. Some gave up long ago and drifted lazily to the ground to mingle with the rest. The winds blow them about, to and fro. Colors in the sky, colors on the ground. Bare limbs stand out against the still green grass. The earth seems to be beckoning winter in. But winter is waiting. Holding on. It's not time yet. It wants to give us time to really appreciate the glory of the colors that surround us this fall.

Take a deep breath. Breathe in the fresh crisp air and take in the beauty around you. Then have a fabulous day!

Needed a long Time Out!

Oh what an awesome weekend! Can anyone give me a Whoo Hoo? I attended Time Out for Women in Kansas City along with Alicia and April. We were lucky to sit next to Michelle and Sephie while we were there. They were so kind and saved us seats on both days. I came away with a determination to do better, have a more positive attitude, be more kind and to think before I speak. The highlight for me was that John Bytheway was there on Saturday because Sheri Dew couldn't make it. Oh My! Not only did he have us rolling with laughter, but so did most of the other presenters. It was a wonderful time-out for me. I have been desperately needing it. It was the first time I left Alyssa all day long. Oh, it was nice. Then I came back rejuvenated and ready to be a better Mother, wife and individual.

We carved pumpkins on Saturday night and then on Sunday evening we had Alyssa birthday party along with her cousin, Zac's. We had cake and ice cream and opened presents. I think the most fun part for the family is just being together. Having Grandma and Grandpa Cantwell there was definitely a highlight. They enjoyed watching the kids play together. I took lots of pictures to share with them and everyone else. Stay tuned for those later.

So, we are starting a new week. I have a lot to get done. I pray that Heavenly Father blesses me with all I need to accomplish all of these tasks!

On a side note, I have to thank my Father in Heaven. I had posted a while back about how I desperately needed sleep. Miraculously that night Lady Bug slept through the night and then continued that pattern for a week. Then she went right back to waking up several times. I am so thankful that when I was at the end of my rope Father in Heaven blessed me with some sleep. I know He loves me.

A Letter

In the fourth grade this year the teacher has asked us to write a letter to the class about what makes our child special. Each week they spotlight a new child in the class to help get to know them a little better. This next week is Alex's turn. One of the things we had to do was write a letter. It could have funny stories, poems or anything we thought the class would like to hear. So, below is the letter that Todd and I (with some help from Todd's Mom) wrote:


To Alex’s Fourth Grade Class,
We want you to know what an awesome kid Alex is. He is a happy person who loves to make others laugh. He is a very caring person. He loves to be silly. He enjoys a good movie and loves to play pretend. He has a great imagination and he enjoys pretending that he is a Super Hero. He loves to make silly faces that make other people smile. He has 3 brothers and one sister. His favorite treat is chocolate. What kind of chocolate, you ask? Anything with chocolate is his favorite! He loves popcorn and pepperoni pizza too.
We want to share a couple of fun poems and a short story that we wrote about Alex.


There once was a boy named Alex,
who loved to explore the Dramatics.
A silly face he’d make
to cover a mistake.
He surely showed some funny antics!
By Kara and Grandma Cantwell

A boy named Alex, one day,
came home from school for to play.
His brothers were mad
His sister was sad
But Alex was a sun shiny ray.
By Grandma Cantwell


In a small town, far away, lived a golden haired boy named Alex. Alex lived with his parents, his three brothers and one little sister in a medium sized house just outside the city. He shared a bedroom, which his Dad and Papa built, with his older brother in the basement of their house. It was a fun room. The walls were painted his favorite color…Green! The green was so green it was as bright as the leaves on the trees in springtime. Alex and his big brother slept on a bunk bed; Alex had the top bunk and his brother had the bottom. At night his big soft kitty cat named Paco would climb onto his bed and snuggle into the warm blankets at Alex’s feet. Sometimes when Alex had a hard time sleeping he would carefully climb down the ladder from his bunk to the floor and tiptoe out to the family room. In the family room he would quietly turn on the TV and watch his favorite shows while curled up in a comfy chair. Sometimes at night when he got really brave, he would sneak up the stairs and find the yummy chocolate chips to have for a snack. Chocolate was his favorite food. If he could eat it for every meal he would; chocolate cereal with chocolate milk for breakfast, chocolate and peanut butter sandwiches with chocolate bars for lunch, and chocolate chip cookie casserole with melted caramel and marsh mellows for supper. Oh what a life that would be, he would dream, and he would go to sleep. By Alex’s Mom

We want you to know how much we love Alex. He is a wonderful, creative, happy, silly, funny and awesome kid! We hope you get to know him and like him just as much as we do!

***

So,we hope you enjoy this fun info that we shared! It was fun to write! Maybe I'll do it for all my kids!

Autumn

The smells of fall are in the air. A brisk breeze is blowing. Leaves skitter across the ground. The scent of the warm furnace kicking on fills the rooms of the house. The leaves are turning...yellow, gold, bronze, and brown. Here and there is a scattering of orange, red, pink, and purple. Trees with burnt orange tips dot the landscape. Green at the bottom with color gradually working its way up to the top. Deep purple, almost brown leaves stand out against the remaining green. From the bottom of the tree you see green, yet gradually it turns yellow and at the tips orange. A bright orange or red little tree catches my eye. I look around at the dull yellows and golds and browns and then...aah! A bright beauty stands out against the rest. These are the things I see as I drive along the road in Saint Joseph, Missouri.

There is nothing like the Fall. It is absolutely my favorite time of the year. The smells and the sights, the warm cozy sweaters, and rosy red cheeks are what make the world glorious at this time of year.

It can also be a time of longing. Longing to see home again. Longing for bright reds, oranges, yellows everywhere the eye can see, with only a scattering of green in between. To look across the expanse of a rippling lake and see a hillside on fire with color, that is what I long to see.

I have worked hard to find the beauty here in Missouri over the years and I have been blessed with the ability to find it. You always see what you are looking for. I still miss the sights of home. I loved the big red maple tree that stood in front of our first home. With leaves of deep purple during the spring and summer, followed by bright glorious red engulfing its branches in the fall. There is nothing like Fall in New England. I think Heaven will be filled with these wonderfully beautiful sights too!

Grease and grime galore...Oh my!

Have you ever noticed that the more kids you have the less house work gets done? I am noticing that the necessities are taken care of while the things that are less important get pushed aside. My kitchen floor happens to be one of those items that has been pushed aside. So, today I was looking at my white floor thinking, "Boy it doesn't look very white anymore". I decided it was the perfect day to change that.

I hate using chemicals, but sometimes they are a blessing. I got out the vinegar and began scrubbing. The gray grime remained on the floor. The dirt pushed around a bit, along with some cat hair and I sighed and headed to the laundry room to find something better to clean with.

Mop and Glo. I'm thinking...this has to work. I hate this nasty gray grime on my floor. It's embarrassing. I squirted some on the floor and began scrubbing......Nothing. What's the point of this stuff anyway!

Ugh! Back to the laundry room I trudge. I stared at my shelves full of cleaning supplies and checked each one off the list. Nothing was going to work. But wait...
Up the stairs I go...

This time I returned with Greased Lightening in hand. I squirted it on the floor and took a deep breath. I started scrubbing and miraculously the grime began to lift easily from the floor; like erasing a chalk board. I saw white floor!!! It was so dirty that the mop kept smearing this nasty sludge all around, like mud. So, back and forth I went to the sink to rinse out the saturated mop. And back to the floor I returned to scrub away some more gray grime. I had to do go over the spots a few times before the gray completely disappeared. Gross!

But one thing I remembered before I embarked on this mission was that Greased Lightening is potent. I opened the windows and let the breeze blow. It is pleasant and windy today. There is a nice brisk breeze in the air bringing the smells and thoughts of autumn.

If you are in a confined space, when you use this stuff, you may start gagging and coughing uncontrollably. It is nasty. But who, may I ask, wants their white floors to look gray. Not me. So, sometimes those chemicals I don't like very much are a blessing.

My floor is now clean. My mind relaxed and a little more at peace. Yes...cleaning makes me feel better! I accomplished something with my day.

Lady Bug...so cute!

Some pictures for you today! Hope you enjoy!

Just another morning

So, it's 7:00 am on a Saturday and I can't sleep. I should be sleeping in since all the kids are, but my brain won't shut off. Could be worse I guess! Lady Bug slept through the night last night for the first time in a couple of weeks! Hallelujah! She had been leaking out of her diapers for the last four or five nights and I was getting pretty frustrated waking up just to change a diaper that wasn't even saturated.

Since she has been crawling around everywhere she has lost a bunch of baby fat. So, the leg elastics were too big around her legs. Oops! Yesterday I spent a little while adjusting a bunch of her diapers, and each time she needed a diaper change I adjusted another one. No leaks!!!

Lady Bug has a great desire to walk. She gets very frustrated when she can't get there fast enough. She has been pretty fussy this last week and I thought I was going to go nuts. Finally yesterday she was a bit happier. She is trying to stand up next to the couch, the window, and the bakers wrack. She even gets in a squatting position and just sits there with one knee on the ground. She is eleven months now and I can see those wheels spinning in her head. She wants to be mobile. She is trying to figure out how she can stand up and not fall over. Her little feet are still a bit round and it's hard for her to be steady. It makes me wonder how long it will take. It's so fun to watch her learn and grow. We had fun with the boys watching them do new things too. It just feels like it has been so long that it has become exciting again. Her first year is going by way too fast for my taste.

John and Alicia got here last night after traveling for about 3 days. They staying with us last night and will head to Mike's house for a couple of nights sometime today. It's fun to have family visiting and it's more fun to see how excited the boys get when they see them drive into the driveway. I remember feeling the same way when my Gramma would come visit from Arizona. Or when Aunt Wanda and Uncle Billy would come. It's so exciting. You get a little spoiled and you get to do things that aren't normally in your routine.

I remember when Gramma and Stan would drive out in their big blue van. We thought it was so cool. They had a bed in the back of the van to sleep in on their trip. What an awesome way to travel! Not with five kids though! I'll take a hotel any day!

I guess I better find something else to do while everyone sleeps! Happy Weekend!

Need a "pick-me-up" today?

Yesterday I was so tired and had been home all week with sick kids. So, I read my scriptures and folded laundry and took care of Max and Lady Bug. Then I had a prompting to read an article in the Ensign. I grabbed the September issue of the Ensign and started reading the First Presidency message....

It was wonderful. Of course I cried. I always do. But I needed it so much. I love President Uchtdorf. He always seems to know just what to say to the sisters of the church to help them to remember what great women they truly are. I needed that reminder. The best part about it is when he says...oh I am just going to copy and paste because I can't do it justice!!!

"May I invite you to rise to the great potential within you. But don’t reach beyond your capacity. Don’t set goals beyond your capacity to achieve. Don’t feel guilty or dwell on thoughts of failure. Don’t compare yourself with others. Do the best you can, and the Lord will provide the rest. Have faith and confidence in Him, and you will see miracles happen in your life and the lives of your loved ones. The virtue of your own life will be a light to those who sit in darkness, because you are a living witness of the fulness of the gospel (see D&C 45:28). Wherever you have been planted on this beautiful but often troubled earth of ours, you can be the one to “succor the weak, lift up the hands which hang down, and strengthen the feeble knees” (D&C 81:5)."

"My dear sisters, as you live your daily life with all its blessings and challenges, let me assure you that the Lord loves you. He knows you. He listens to your prayers, and He answers those prayers, wherever on this world you may be. He wants you to succeed in this life and in eternity."(Dieter F. Uchtdorf, "The Influence of Righteous Women", Ensign, Sept. 2009, 2-7).

Oh...it's just awesome. It spoke to me. I am so glad that I listened to that prompting and read that article. I need to do it more often. The only problem is that whenever I read it...I cry. I don't like to cry, but I do it a lot.

But even though it made me cry it was cleansing and I needed that and my Father in Heaven knew that I needed it too. I need to learn to let myself cry and not feel bad about it. It just frustrates me.

Today, after I got some extra sleep, I was able to exercise again. Yeah! I needed that today too! It gives me so much more energy!! Now I'm ready to take on the rest of the day! Taking care of Max still. Lady Bug is fussy today, but is taking a nap now so I am getting a break!

Still sick

Colin is so sick he had to stay home from school. There is a rule that they have to be fever free for 24 hours, without the use of medicine, before they can return. So, he jumped for joy and bragged to his brothers.

Colin is so sick today that he asked if he could play with his toys in the sink. I told him he wasn't allowed to splash or make big messes and that he had to show me the toys he wanted to play with in the water. So, I sat on the couch nursing Alyssa while Colin dragged a stool over to the kitchen sink, plugged it, and filled it with water. He filled it almost to the top. He would stand his toys on the faucet and they would do a cannon ball into the water. They didn't make big splashes though...that was the rule! I think he is feeling better! No high fevers yet today. I hope the fevers are long gone.

My day is a little more lazy than usual because I have Colin home. He needs a lot more attention than Lady Bug does sometimes. Between the two of them I might at well just grab a book and find a comfy spot so that they can find me at a moment's notice! That's what being a Mom is all about...isn't it? Being there when our children need us...Even when it's just asking permission to play in the sink!

Fever..."you give me fever"!

"Fever in the morning
Fever all through the night"
Yes...the mysterious fevers are here. Alyssa had it last night, but she is teething really badly. Poor thing. This morning we all got up and Todd was off helping build a house with the Habitat for Humanity, so we just watched a movie. The next thing I know Colin is sound asleep on the couch. I thought, "What in the world..." So, I go over to check on him and he is burning up. I checked his temp and it was about 101 degrees. I let him go for a few hours until he reached 103 degrees. Now for the medicine.

When the TJ was little I should have had stock in Children's Motrin. Holy Moly! We bought a ton of the stuff. But since I have begun doing a lot more natural solutions I steer toward other remedies to help when the kids are sick.

I guess we will be staying home from church tomorrow; Colin, Alyssa and I!

So far there are no other symptoms, but I continue to watch and be aware.

Last night we were able to attend a High School football game at Central High School, here in St. Joseph. Bill and Cheryl weren't able to attend and they needed someone to be surrogate band parents for their daughter who play the mellophone in the band. So, Todd and I went. It was a lot of fun. I guess it was the first time in years that Central has won a home game. We must have been their lucky charm!

Todd's parents are on their way out here for a visit. They are all packed and ready to move to Denton, Texas and are making a pit stop here, along the way. That will be fun!

I'm going back up to take care of my sickie!

His Gentle Commands

As I ran around this morning getting my children ready for school, my mind was able to focus on other things...on them. I was able to get rid of some of those thoughts that have been causing me stress and I found that my body was beginning to relax. It wasn't that this morning was restful. I start my morning at 6:30am by getting TJ up. He showers while I begin to make lunches. Once he is done I wake another child and get him into the shower while I continue to make lunches, clean the kitchen and get caught up on communication to the school. This morning I found Alex's math homework in his backpack blank. So, I got him up earlier than usual, as he is the last one I wake up, and sat him at the kitchen table while I made lunches so that I could help him with his homework.

When Todd was leaving for work this morning I had been up for almost an hour. My brain just wouldn't shut off after putting Alyssa back down after feeding her yet again. He came to hug & kiss me and asked how I was doing. On the verge of tears I mentioned that I think I might need a blessing. He hugged me and let me explain why. He would give me a blessing regardless, but I share everything with him, so we talked. Then he went off to work.

I kept a prayer in my heart all morning asking Heavenly Father to help me to know how to reduce this stressful feeling is am having.

I have begun practicing the piano again. It has been years, but I am trying to get my mind and my fingers back into the habit. So, I sat at the piano when the kids went out front to wait for the bus. I played a few hymns over and over again. I can't sing with them or I totally screw up playing! I can't play very well when other sings either. That will come again. I needed to get up and give Lady Bug more cantaloupe and as I was taking care of her the words of the hymn I had been playing came to my mind.

"Why should this anxious load
Press down your weary mind?
Haste to your Heavenly Father's throne
And sweet refreshment find."

What a wonderful reminder. I just need to leave this burden at the feet of the Lord and do my best to continue on and He will help me through. He will carry me.
I am so grateful for the beautiful hymns and the blessing that they can be in my life and others lives if we so choose to utilize them. The hymn continues:

"His goodness stands approved,
Unchanged from day to day;
I'll drop my burden at his feet
And bear a song away."

So, I will continue this day with a prayer in my heart and a song on my lips as I continue forward. What a wonderful blessing it is to have the gospel of Jesus Christ to guide and direct me in my life. I am so extraordinarily grateful to have a loving Savior who died for me and knows exactly what I am going through; no matter how small or how large it may be.

(How Gentle God's Commands, Hymn #125)

We change

I was realizing just the other day how some minor things have changed since Todd and I got married. When a couple gets together people always talk about what things they like to do together, what their common interests are. Well, Todd and I always loved movies and just being together.

One of the things Todd has always loved is baseball. And not just any old baseball game, but the Royals. So, he would listen to games on the radio and I would sigh and think, "Boring!!". Many times I would ask him to change the station because I hated to listen to the game.

This year I have attended 2 Kansas City Royals home games with Todd and family and friends. This year I have learned to appreciate baseball. It was fun to attend a game, sit high up in the stands and cheer for our team. There is so much going on at the stadium. People walking up and down the stairs yelling, "Cotton Candy...Cotton Candy for sale!". They sell frozen Lemonade, ice creams, and many other things. It is stimulation overload! The noise is insane and you have to yell or talk very loudly to be heard. We even started texting one time because it was just easier to communicate that way.

So, I am now a fan. I actually enjoy the games. I will even watch them on TV. Now...I still don't like to listen to them on the radio, but I have gained an appreciation for something that Todd loves and now we can share it together.

The boys love the games too. Max has a hard time with the noise, but he does really well considering. TJ, Alex and Colin will holler with the rest of them as they cheer the team on. It's fun to watch! They chant, "Let's go Royals!" clap, clap "Let's go Royals!" clap, clap They get loud and crazy. It's so cute. They ask for cotton candy and we lovingly say no. They ask for soda, nachos, ice cream...and we again tell them no. We bring popcorn and water and other yummy snacks. It's much less expensive that way. I was shocked one time when I went to get water and it cost over $4 a bottle. That highway robbery right there!!!

So, we can change. We can learn to like new and different things. We just have to want to change.

The Swing of Things

We are getting into...the "Swing of things" again! Slowly, but surely. Alyssa is trying to get used to playing all by herself with no interruptions from her noisy brothers! She is doing pretty well with that.

The other day I was cleaning up the house and I went into TJ's and Alex's room and found something I thought was pretty creative. I would never have thought to do it myself. TJ had taken a headlamp and put it on the blink mode, set it on the floor and pointed it at the sensor on the night light. So every time the headlamp would shine the night light would go off, and every time with headlamp was off the night light would shine. It must have caught me just right because I chuckled and left it the way that it was.

I spent a large part of my day yesterday cleaning my room. I am always telling my kids to clean theirs but mine doesn't get touched. So, I cleaned it. I had a man from State Farm coming to look at the leak in our bathroom and I didn't want him to see the mess. So, I cleaned and cleared out everything I could. The result...I have a new room. It is so nice! So tidy and spacious! It is a nice feeling! Now Todd just need to finish what I started on his stuff and we will have a wonderful room.

I am ready for little Ladybug to sleep at night. She is teething again so that doesn't help matters. She doesn't sleep through the night anyway, but when she is teething it feels like torture. I am a grouch because I am not getting the sleep that I so desperately need to stay pleasant, so I have to try extra hard to be pleasant anyway. That is just not easy. It's bad when I find myself doing things that I would get upset with the boys for doing. TJ called me on it and I had to do some repenting. Ugh! I pray for sleep constantly but sleep evades me. I told Todd that I must need to learn something from this lack of sleep because Heavenly Father continues to allow me to be tested with it. Maybe some day soon I will get that wonderful blessing of sleep!

Todd's birthday is coming up next Monday. He will be 35 years old. He has decided that this is a perfect year for a mid-life crisis. He has decided that he needs a Mini Cooper to help him through this "tough" time in life. :) I just chuckle with him and tell him that when he can find one in our price range he has my blessing. Silly man!

Lyssy-loo is needing my attention. I had better go! Until the next time...

Back to School

This was the first week back to school for all four of our boys. I need to put some pictures on here so you can see all the boys in their school duds. They had early outs on each day too.

TJ was really nervous about his teacher, but it turns out that she is actually pretty nice. TJ is excited about that.

This is the first year that they all came home saying they made a new friend. We have been here for 3 1/2 years now. I am thankful for how comfortable they finally are.

Alex loves his new teacher. He had her for summer school and she is really nice. He has had a great time so far.

Max had a fabulous week at school. He behaved well and really enjoyed being back with his Para Professional, Mrs. Wisler. We are so thankful that she chose to stay on with Max. She has been a great blessing in our lives. Max's new teacher seems really nice too. Besides being more aggressive after school, Max is doing great. I always know that he will have a longer and harder adjustment period when beginning a new school year than the other boys.

Colin came home to tell us that he had a Awesome time at school. He made a friend and he had a lot of fun. He enjoyed the coloring pages that he was given.

So, even though I am so tired from having to get up early this week, I am thankful that it has gone so well. The only things that I could do without is all the paperwork from school. Almost every day we have something we have to look at, file, fill out and return...love the papers!

We are still trying to get unpacked from our trip. We will hopefully have that done soon. One of my most exciting treasures that I brought home with me from Maine is my box full of cups and saucers from my Grandmother. Until this trip I had forgotten to get them. While we were in Maine I asked where they might be and Juli and I got to go digging. In an older home that can be a little scary with all the cobwebs and stuff. They weren't very hard to find though. They were in a really old trunk that smelled of moth balls...yum. Juli and I carefully unwrapped a bunch of other dusty, smelly items before we found my box. So fun! Memories! I can't wait to unwrap them and place them carefully on a shelf in my bedroom (for now at least until the kids are older). Todd is going to make a nice shelf for me. I also plan to put a couple of knick-knacks (or how ever you spell that silly word!) there that my Mom gave me while we were home.

I feel a little out of sorts since getting home. I'm having a bit of a hard time getting into the swing of things. I feel like I am missing home a lot more this time than in the past....

Plus on Thursday my Mom's mother went into the hospital and was in critical condition for a while. We had just spent time with her while we were in Maine and I just couldn't quite wrap my brain around the situation. Thankfully she is doing better and was moved out of the ICU today and is improving daily. What a blessing. I am so thankful for being able to spend time with her recently.

I started out this blog with a totally different idea in mind for writing but I guess this is what I was supposed to share!

Today I spent about 4 hours doing my budget from the trip. I am so very thrilled to be finished with that! Now I can relax! Well, I better go relax and hold little Lady Bug before it's time for bed.

Sleep well all!

Awesome Vacation

We are home again. We had such a wonderful time on vacation that it has been very hard to come home. The three weeks we spent in Maine were jam packed with fun, family and lots more!

The first week we visited with both my side of the family, The Young's, and also with Todd's family. We spent time with both sets of grandparents and even one Great Gramma who flew in from Arizona. We ate lobster and clams at Doug's and Heidi's house in Gray, Maine (about 45 minutes south of where Kara grew up). Todd's Aunt Sheila and Uncle Buster were there visiting from Colorado and had brought a couple of friends. That was a bunch of fun! George and Linda Young, my parents, and Juli Dubuc, my sister, tagged along for the evening. The kids had a blast jumping on Uncle Doug's trampoline and messing around with everyone.

The lobster didn't stop there! We had lobster again at Juli's and Scott's house later in the week! Yum! We also spent time 4-wheeling, and swimming.

The first weekend there we were busy with, my High School friend, Kristina's wedding. We attended the rehearsal dinner in the soaking wet yard where it would be held. We sloshed around in the puddles in the grass for about 20 minutes before we headed to the dinner. At the dinner, TJ spent much time catching itty bitty tiny frogs with the girls who were there. :) It was rainy and wet, but it was fun no less.

Then on Saturday the wedding took place. Todd and I were playing photographers. It was fun, but it also reminded me why I hate doing weddings!!! They are so fast paced and crazy. Again we got to slosh around in mud holes for the most part! I am so glad I went casual.

We were able to attend church with my parents twice this trip, which wouldn't have happened if Todd had worked the Friday before. So, on August 2nd a group of us who were youth together sang in Sacrament meeting. It was the first time in about 15 years since we had sung together...and sung that song in particular. I kept thinking, while we were practicing that I sounded totally off key. Well then I realized that our YW leader at the time had changed the song to fit our abilities as a group. So, I wasn't really messed up! I ended up doing the "soprano" part. I haven't sung that high in a while, and it wasn't really that high. It was a good alto part! Anyway, the song is called, "Warriors of Light". So, I got through it to the end...and then I cried. So fun to sing together again. Granted it was only a handful of us, but it was still awesome. We had myself, Juli, Darcy, Shannon, DeeDee and we asked Ashley Paine to help on soprano. It was neat. ...Memories!...

We spent a weekend at Doug's and Heidi's home, where Todd's parents are staying for the summer. We went swimming, played video games, ate smores, jumped on the trampoline, sang songs while Doug played the guitar, and so much more.

We were also able to attend Todd's parent's branch. We were amazed at how few faces we knew this time. It has changed a lot. The sunday school class was awesome. It was a great experience.

Okay, so we then spent more time 4-wheeling, swimming, playing video games, fishing with Papa, and shopping! Alex caught the most awesome bass. It was about 14 inches...I think! Ask my Dad, he knows! We ate that bass too. It was so yummy! So we went on many adventures. We went shopping at the L.L. Bean store in Freeport. We went to the ocean...Doug and Heidi came along too. Doug went fishing. We "walked the rocks". Then we all went swimming on the beach. We learned a valuable lesson too. Don't wear a two piece if you want to ride the waves!!

We then raced to our favorite shopping place on Bailey Island and got there just before they closed. It's a fun shop at the end of the island, right on the ocean. To get there we had to cross the Cribstone bridge which is a famous bridge. My Great Grandfather helped build the bridge. It was made out of huge cobble stones. Really neat!

TJ got the chance to take pictures with Papa's digital camera. He took him out into the woods like he used to do with my when I was young, and he showed him nature to take pictures of. Then they uploaded them to the computer and TJ learned how to use Photoshop to edit his pictures, which he then printed out and put into a "portfolio".

We went to the movies to see "G-Force" with a lot of family and even more friends! It was fun. We took up about 5 or 6 rows in the theater.

Mom, Juli and a friend of my Mom's, Sue, all went to North Conway, New Hampshire to go shopping. That was a fun day!

Todd and I went on a double date with Scott and Juli and then later we went on a triple date with Gus and Darcy, and Scott and Juli. We also celebrated Juli's birthday early with an evening of Mexican food (Juli's choice) and chocolate cake with peanut butter frosting, a family tradition!

I am sure I have missed something that we did. We had so much fun. We got to see a lot of friends and then there were some whom we still weren't able to see. It's crazy how busy vacations can get. To those whom we didn't get to see, we apologize, and hope to see you next time. I am sure this is totally out of order, but you get the idea! We had fun! Glad to be home, but miss Maine and family so much.

2 More Days!

Only 2 more days to go. Today I thought I might just lose my mind, but some how I still have it! I need to fold laundry and tomorrow I need to pack. Things are mostly done and the lists are made, so hopefully I won't forget anything.

I went and had acupuncture done and I am so thankful that I did. It relaxes you so much. So, I came home feeling really m-e-l-l-o-w!! I was able to have a more positive attitude and that was sweeeeet!

I am so ready for sleep! Oh...pray that Lyssy Loo sleeps tonight. I had two nights that she slept through the night and then last night I thought I was going to go mad. I survived, but wow...in the middle of the night it is hard to believe that you will keep your sanity. Every time I heard her cry it felt like I had just fallen asleep.

I look forward to vacation where I can sleep in if I need to. I think once she gets these teeth in and I am less stressed she will sleep better again...I hope!!! Wish us luck!!

We are excited!

One more week and we are headed to Maine! Yeah!!! The list of items to pack for the trip is growing. Next week is pretty full too. We look forward to spending time with family and friends. So, I will probably be MIA for a few weeks. I don't plan on spending much time with the computer while I am there. I would rather visit face to face!

Our Sweet Family

TJ is so creative. He is always trying to create a new game, along with a unique game board. He also loves to make items or creatures or characters that he has seen on TV or in movies. They love the movie Transformers, played on the clear play DVD player of course! So, TJ is making each of his brothers an All Spark Cube out of paper. Then they can all pretend to be Autobots together, each with their own cube.

Alex loves to have fun. Yesterday I forgot to give him his afternoon remedy. Ouch! So, I asked him to unload the top wrack of the dishwasher. It took him forever. He was playing and being silly. He is great at making silly sounds. Are all boys good at that because I can't do it at all. I was on his case a little about it and he said, "But Mom, I just want to have a little fun." Man, he is so sweet. The funny thing is that when he is on his remedy he can focus and get things done. When he hasn't had it I have to redirect and redirect and redirect until I am very frustrated with a child who can't really help that fact that he can't stay focused. I am thankful for this remedy because I know he must hate getting in trouble so often for things that are out of his control. And deep inside I know that it is hard for him, so I give him a lot of leeway, but then sometimes I don't give him enough. He is such a great kid! He doesn't like to go to Cub Scouts until we get there. Then he loves it. If we have to TV off, which is off a lot more now, he more easily handles a change in what he is doing. When the TV is on though. Whoa! Too much stimulation. It must be stimulation overload.

The TV has stayed off for four mornings in a row! Woo Hoo! Yesterday they were able to watch it a little more, but it still stayed off most of the day. It is so fun to hear them playing nicely together and making all the sound effects for their toys. How do they do that, seriously? Little Ladybug girl just watches them play.

Max has been in his own little world most of the week. He is quiet unless someone takes a toy he had. He should have a warning label, "Attention all children. Do not take away my toys. You don't want to see me when I get ANGRY!" Poor kid. He is making such awesome improvements. He understands more and responds verbally more often. He plays better with other children. At the end of the school year he actually had a couple of friends that he knew by name. That was a huge feat for him! The children in his class were so excited when he would call them by name. Even they saw his improvements. He has such a sweet little spirit too.

Colin just wants to be loved. He is so cute! He would hate it if I said that in front of him. He is such a tough guy. He wants to be a big boy, but at the end of the day he wants Mom to snuggle with him and hold him. I treasure those moments. My big boys like hugs and to sit by me, but I miss the snuggle time. They are just getting too big for that. So, I love it when Colin snuggles! I spend a lot of time with little Ladybug lately and he sometimes feels neglected. Then he starts filling the bathroom sink with water and dunking his head in it to get his hair all wet. When he pulls his head out the water splashes on the mirror and walls and dribbles and drips down his head, onto his neck and soaks his shirt. Then he runs out to show me. What a nut! He climbs on counters, chairs, dressers, colors on the wall (not recently thank goodness), and just wants to be noticed. So, today I am going to do my best to spend some one-on-one time with him.

Little Ladybug is 8 1/2 months. She scrunches up her nose and looks so cute. Her little chubby legs are adorable! She sits on the floor with her toys and turns around. She sits almost Indian style with her feet touching in front of her and rocks back and forth while reaching for toys. She has yet to crawl. She gets mad when I put her on her hands and knees. Oh boy. She doesn't like that! She LOVES her Daddy. When he comes home for lunch she stares at him with a huge grin on her face until he notices! Then she giggles. Daddy has to hold her for at least a couple of minutes while he eats or she gets upset. She loves her Daddy! She will lunge for him when I am holding her. She makes her wants known! She talks very loudly when she is playing. TJ asked if we could quiet her down the other day. I just chuckled. She is a very loud talker right now. I think it is cute at home, but not so much at church! She talks to her hands and her food and her toys. I just love it!

Todd got the HR job on the base, that was pretty much promised to him. Shocker! He applied for a different job also, in the Comm flight. The job would be working with computers. It would be a Technician position instead of an AGR position, which is what he is currently. There are some benefits to being Technician. One of them being that he would have the opportunity to increase his pay more so than if he stays AGR status. It can be very confusing and it takes me asking a lot of questions to really understand the tiniest part of it. Please pray for him. I want him to be happy at work again. Not that he is miserable, but he loved his other job. He loves Readiness. But it was not to be. I know Heavenly Father has something for him. He just needs to find it. Maybe it is the Comm job. Who knows!

I am staying very busy caring for my children, cleaning the house, doing my calling, baking, cooking, doing laundry and all of the other things that go along with being a Mother. I love to read. I love a good movie. I love sitting on the couch next to my Eternal companion, even if for just a silly TV show. I have the most wonderful husband ever! He thinks I am funny. He might be watching a show and I am reading, but we are together. I love it!

How are all of your sweet families doing? My thoughts are with all of my friends!

On a roll

Okay, so this week I finally have some energy and I feel like I am on a roll. But don't knock on my door with out calling first because I am still in my pajamas.

BUT...the laundry is all caught up. The dishes are almost done. The kitchen/dining room floors got mopped. The bathrooms are pretty clean. The floors got vacuumed. Whew! It feels good!

In 9 days we head out to Maine! I want the house to be clean for when we come home. I strongly despise coming home to a dirty house.

Oh...funny thing. I totally clogged my kitchen sink tonight:)! I don't know how many times I apologized to Todd for it. I was cleaning out the fridge, you know still being on a roll and all, and I dumped the old nasty food into the sink. Well, it kind of jammed up the trap. OOOOPS! Todd tried the plunger trick...but it was too plugged. LOL! So, he had to unscrew the pipes and let it all out into a bucket. Then He made a mess and sprayed a lot of the contents under the sink with yucky dirty ricey water. (There was a lot of rice in there :() EEWW! So, he finished fixing my mess and I cleaned up after him. Good trade off right? I have such a wonderful husband! I think he was really glad I was finally cleaning out the fridge! It was full when Juli came out. It needed to be cleaned out a while ago. And since I was on a roll I finally got that accomplished! So, that is one more thing that will be clean when I come home from our visit to Maine.

Today I went from dresser to dresser (or as we say in Maine, bureau. I had friends growing up who would pronounce it "breero" hehehe! If you know me you know that I have issues with words being pronounced incorrectly. :)Todd got me to change to using the word dresser. It doesn't get messed up as much!). I unfolded each article of clothing and checked the sizes. I took out ALL outgrown clothing. Then I moved items from TJ's dresser to Alex's, to Max's and then to Colin's. I now have about 5 boxes in the hallway, full of clothing to be donated! LOVE CLEANING OUT!

Now I can go sit on my couch and read! LOVE reading! I am trying to be good. I read in the evening while everyone is watching TV or is otherwise occupied!

Feelin' good!

Making a change

Making a change, whether in attitude, food choices, in schedule, you name it, it can be hard to do. When we first put Max on the gluten free/casein free diet when he was 3 1/2 was so hard. I couldn't sleep. Thoughts of what I could and couldn't feed him rolled through my mind when I closed my eyes. I thought I would never get to a point where I felt comfortable with it. But somewhere between now then I got used to it. It has been 4 years now.

A few months ago we decided, per Doctor suggestion, to put Alex on the same diet. I hoped it would make a difference, but as we look at the last few months we don't see a change. The change really came when we put him on a new remedy. It is helping him a lot. That is when we realized that the diet didn't help.

Yesterday was my first day putting Alex back on regular food. But there is a catch. It needs to be foods without artificial colors, flavors, additives and other unnecessary chemicals. I am not as familiar with those foods, so I have some research to do. I know pretty much what to look for but I need to locate the items that are "safe".

Wish me luck!

Summer should be a blast!

In the Spring I start dreaming of Summer and all the fun we can have. I dream of sleeping in late. I dream of giggling children running around outside. I dream of a clean house. Then my day dream comes to a screeching halt!!!

I think...that NEVER happens!!!

Here is the reality of Summer in our home...
Sleep in until 8:00 only because the children went to bed between 9pm and 10pm.
The kids are so tired of playing with each other that they fight all the time.
The house is a wreck. Food all over the dining room/kitchen floor. Dishes piled in the sink and on both counters. Wet towels and swimming suits all over the place even though I constantly remind them to hang them. Tattling...oh the tattling.....and even more tattling.

Ok...it might not be that bad all the time, but it is hard for me during the summer. I want desperately to take them to do fun things and the whole time is spent having to remind them to behave.

Plus, yesterday I was reminded how a lack of routine greatly effects children with Autism. Sacrament meeting alone is hard anyway. On the way to church, running about 5 minutes behind but not late, I realized that Todd had told me that a bridge would be out at the exit we always take and that I should take the exit before that one. Well...I forgot. So, here I am at the exit, frustrated. I flew up to the next exit and turned around and headed back to the church. We got there just before the meeting started.

Since the addition of miss Ladybug we have started sitting in one of the middle pews in the back. This way we don't disturb as many people when we get up to take a child out. Plus, I hate to be the center of attention. So, we get there late and there are no seats except one about 3 rows from the front. I groaned inwardly and marched my train of children to the front of the chapel to sit down. They all had a brand new mechanical ("clicky") pencil in hand with their name on it along with a new notebook to color in. I felt pretty prepared. TJ sat quietly coloring. He loves to draw and can draw a really detailed dragon. It's pretty cool. Alex, for a change, was sitting nicely drawing. Since the new remedies we started he is doing better and better. Ladybug had fallen asleep just before we left the house but woke as soon as I tried to put her into her car seat. Now she was wide awake but happy. Max and Colin, on the other hand, were poking...nudging...giggling...talking loudly...you name it. I tried to quiet them numerous times. The problem is that Colin likes to tease. He will tease and Max doesn't deal well with that. So, I tried to bribe them with the idea of getting a treat when we got home when they sat quietly and colored.

I finally had to remove Max, dragging him from the pew while holding Ladybug, all the way through the chapel and out to the hallway. These are the times I quietly wish someone would come to my rescue. But it isn't their job.

I put Max on a seat in an empty classroom, with the door wide open, in time-out, while I walked in the hall...back and forth in front of the door. Once he was finally calm enough to go back we went in to sit down. Again we walked to the front. Yuck.

After sitting for a few minutes I finally moved Max over next to TJ. Why I didn't do that in the first place is beyond me. About 20 minutes before the meeting ended my little Ladybug started fussing and I had to leave the boys to go to the Mother's Lounge. Luckily, one of our youth, Tyler came to sit with the boys for me.

Max had gotten into a great routine with Church and was sitting well for so long. Then summer came. We don't have as strict a routine at home as they do at school. So, each day it gets worse and worse. The shrieking, hitting, throwing toys, slamming doors...all due to the lack of routine and too much stimulation.

So, after a hard day at church I decided that the TV is staying off...for the most part. I must confess...I use the TV as a crutch. When things get overwhelming at home I sit the kids in front of the TV. That isn't the best thing for me to do...and I realize that, but I got myself into the habit when I was pregnant and now I have to get out of it.

So, I am hoping that through the next few weeks of summer I can help my kids have fun. If the house is going to be a wreck I might as well just leave it and go do something with the kids...like sliding down the stairs in sleeping bags! Thanks Becca for that idea! The kids love it!

I am committing myself to do better today. I am going to handle my children better. I am going to leave the TV off. Have the kids do their chores, which I have not enforced because I thought it would be nice if I let them enjoy more summer. I will read my scriptures...say my prayers... and just try to do better. I know I can't do it without the help of the Lord.

I look forward to going to Maine! Less than two weeks now to go!!!

The new wave!

I just caught that new wave and I am trying to stay on it!!! We started doing cloth diapers not too long ago and then when Todd didn't like it he finally put his foot down. I can still hear that foot hit the floor!

He doesn't very often have an opinion about what I do. But this time he does. So, we went back to disposables. That lasted for about a week. Our little Ladybug got a rash so bad it started to blister. So I pleaded with Todd to let me put cloth on her that night. He was okay with it because I always change the morning diaper. Miraculously her bottom was better by morning. So...needless to say... the cloth diapers are staying! I was using a good diaper rash ointment too, and I was putting it on many times a day while she was in disposables. Now, her bottom is clear and healthy. Todd just couldn't argue with that.

I am taking steps to make this as painless as possible for my Mr. Convenience! He is so great! I think once he gets use to the change he will be just fine! And it will save us lots of money in the long run. Yeah!

He even made me a drying rack that looks more like a coat tree, but I wanted it for towels, swim suits and diapers. He used almost all materials that we had in the garage. The only thing he purchased was a wooden dowel. We had a 4x4 post in the back yard that was just there...for no apparent reason. So, he cut it off, made a nice solid wooden base and drilled holes up each side for the dowels to fit into. It's pretty cool! He is so handy! He wasn't when we first me though! His handy skills have been learned since marriage.

So, I caught this new wave and it save my Ladybug's bottom!!! Have a great Sunday!

What's hidden in there?

I was reading a blog of a dear friend in Kansas City when I was hit with the urge to write my own thoughts and feelings about food; junk food in particular. It is so hard in this day and age to keep my children and family away from junk food. As one of my friends affectionately calls it, "No No Bad"! It never mattered to me much what was in a lollipop, cookie, brownie, or piece of gum. When it was offered, we all gladly, and excitedly accepted. After hours of research and hours of discussion with knowledgeable friends, Chiropractors, and others I finally decided that we needed a lifestyle change.

Gone are the days when I have a cupboard stocked with Dum Dum lollipops waiting to be handed out as a reward. Gone are the Little Debbie delights that we enjoyed. Gone are a lot of chemicals, additives, food coloring, artificial ingredients and flavorings and many other items that are almost always in prepacked food. We are not 100% perfect at this style of eating. We still struggle with some aspects of it, but for the most part we have changed.

I never used to cringe when friend would offer my children a piece of candy, but now I wish I could help them understand how bad it is for them. I wish I could help them to see what it can do to a child over time. Unfortunately I have found that most people do not want to hear it. Most people haven't had a wake-up call about their dietary habits. I get a lot of crazy looks from people when I decline a treat. Do I have something in my teeth, I wonder? No, I am just one of the many who are trying to make a lifestyle change.

Our society makes that so hard!

I have two children who are currently on a special diet. I spend a lot of time and money to make sure that they stay away from the foods that might cause them harm or cause them discomfort or illness. But how can you say no to those pleading little eyes? When I do say no, in public, it results in a lot of crying, whining and fit throwing. I try to avoid that at all costs.

I hate confrontation or to rock the boat. I think I had better get used to it now, though so that I can stand up for my children.

I can make homemade chocolate chip cookies for a treat and they are thrilled. Then I know what is in them. I can control that. But when they get candy or another treat that does not have those special ingredients to ensure their well-being, they get hyper crazy. They bounce off the walls. They can't concentrate. So, what is it doing to their little bodies? It is wreaking havoc in there. Some people think it is humorous, but I just can't find the humor.


Have you tasted a Little Debbie snack lately? They taste like shortening. Yuck. And I used to eat them all the time. Now, they make me feel sick.

I guess the moral to my story is...we should all be more understanding of each other and the choices we make. We shouldn't judge someone for their choices. We all have to make our own choices. I know I am thinking of a more perfect world, but I can always hope!!

Life Changes!

There have been moments in my life when I felt strongly that change was a horrible thing. I didn’t like to see it coming…and when it hit without warning I was pretty devastated. I have learned over the years, that change is good. It brings about growth, both spiritual and temporal.

When I was younger my parents owned an ice cream shop. It was awesome. I was privileged enough to work at the shop. We carried some of the highest quality ice cream around. It was some awesome creamy goodness! That is how I became an Ice Cream “snob”! But then one day we had to close up shop for good. It was hard. We hadn’t owned the shop for long, but had become attached to it in many ways. The hardest part was losing the house that we grew up in.

At first our home was just a basement, with no home on top. It was a work in progress. When it rained the ceiling would leak in numerous places and we would have to put buckets underneath the drips. I remember once it was so bad that there was quite a bit of water all over the concrete floor. We had a blast running and sliding through the water…until we fell and hurt our bottoms! We may not have had a lot but we made do with what we had. It was a home. A home where our Mom kept it clean and tidy; a home where the gospel of Jesus Christ was taught; a home where love was shone one to another.

I don’t remember when, but we started building the house on top of the basement. My Dad, whom I followed around where ever he went, would go into the woods, cut down trees, strip their bark and haul them, on his shoulders, out of the woods. I remember pulling the bark from the fallen trees. Sometimes the brown bark would easily peel right off from the smooth wooden surface and other times it would take a lot of tugging to get it loose. It was hard to get the bark to come off around a knot in the tree or a spot where a limb had been.

I remember the logs being taken to a mill where two opposite sides where cut to make them flat surfaces. Then they were stacked on top of each other with a piece of insulation in between. Men from church came out and helped put the walls together. Once a log was stacked they would drive long spikes into them to hold them in place. I remember men straddling the partially built walls with hammers in their hands just swinging away.

First the main floor was built and completed and the rest remained unfinished on the inside. Over the years, little by little, the second floor was finished. Even though the look of the home had changed, the family inside was still doing the same things. We continued to learn about our Father in Heaven and our Savior Jesus Christ. I still followed my Dad around where ever he went. One of my favorite things to do with my Dad was walk in the woods. He taught me names of flowers, the different animals, how to take a good picture, and just how to enjoy my surrounding. I loved helping him mow that huge lawn. He would mow a large square and then hand the lawn mower over to me and I mowed the inside of the square. It was fun to watch that huge lawn gradually look short and tidy.

One of my fondest memories was going as a family into the woods to find the perfect Christmas tree. We were looking for the best one for our Savior. We would all bundle up in our handmade mittens, hats and scarves and drudge out through the white fluffy snow to find that perfect tree. We would cut down a tree that was hundreds of feet tall, or so it seemed! Then Dad would cut of the top and drag it back home.

So, our home was no longer ours. We had to say good bye. We didn’t have to leave the neighborhood that we loved and that was a blessing. It was hard at first to make that change. We moved across the street to our Grandmother’s house.
Gram had an attic that was such a neat place to go. You walked slowly up the steep old stairs into a dusty dark room. It had two windows, but it was still dark. The wood floor was covered in a thick layer of dust. There were crates and boxes full of books. There were shelves filled with books. There were trunks filled with treasures and there was a huge Bear skin hanging from the ceiling in the back corner. It was a treat to go up into Gram’s attic and look for a treasure. The creepiest part for me was that there were bats living in the bear skin. It was a neat place to be to get your imagination flowing.

This attic was now going to be our home. Yuck, you must be thinking! We took many hours to clean that attic. Everything was taken out. The floor boards were swept and re-swept. Then the construction began. I don’t remember much of it but I remember being excited for something new. The floor boards were taken out and cleaned and a new floor was put in. There were three bedrooms, a living room, a kitchen, a laundry room and a bathroom. The old attic floor boards were then cleaned and cut to the right length and put on the walls in the living room. They only went about half way up the wall.

So, things changed. We moved into our new home. But the same things were still being done. We were still taught the gospel of Jesus Christ in our home. We showed love one to another. We were still a family.

The next change that happened, that I can remember, is that I moved out with a friend. I was practicing my independence! That didn’t last long. A few months later, I met Todd and then moved back home to save up for a wedding. Many changes happened after Todd and I got married…but the same things were going on at home. Todd and I have tried to continue those same principles that we were taught in our home. The biggest change for me came when, after being married for almost 5 years, Todd approached me about moving to Missouri; his home state; his home; his friends. I prayed and prayed and wanted desperately to do what Heavenly Father wanted me to do. I wanted to stay at home. It was safe and comfortable. I wanted to be near my family and friends. It was comfortable near them. Then my answer came. It was a hard answer and harder to share with my family. I felt like my heart was being ripped from my chest. I cried and pleaded with the Lord hoping that I had misunderstood, but the answer was still the same. We needed to move. More than that, we would be okay. So, we packed up our things. Todd went out to his new job in Missouri while I stayed to pack the rest of the house. I was pregnant with Max at the time and prayed for help daily. Heavenly Father blessed me immensely. I made it through.

Max was 2 weeks old, we had just celebrated Christmas, and we packed up the u-haul and moved to Missouri. I was miserable. I was okay for the first part because my Mom came with me. She was my link to home. Then she had to go back home to Maine and I had to learn to fend for myself.

Things changed!!! Again!

For about 8 months I hated Missouri. I hated where I was and I hated life. I was depressed. Then one day I realized that if I didn’t pull myself out of this slump I would be miserable forever. I didn’t want that. So, I embarked on making a change in my attitude. And…things changed yet again. After about 2 years of living in Missouri I began to see the good. My heart had changed. I had accepted that God wanted me and my little family here. We may have changed, our hearts may have changed, the location of our home may have changed but what was taught in our homes had not. We continue to teach our children daily to love our Father in Heaven and our Savior Jesus Christ. We continue to teach them about the gospel of Jesus Christ. We continue to try to show love to one another within our home.

So, a lot has changed over the years and my anxiety over change isn’t as bad as it used to be. I look at things differently now. We will go where the Lord wants and needs us to go. We will make a home where ever we are. We will find friends where ever we are.

Change is good. It may not be easy but it is good. It helps us grow. I know I am a better, stronger person because of all of the changes that have occurred in my life. I am so thankful for all of my many wonderful and numerous blessings. I am thankful to be where I am and to know that Heavenly Father wants me here and has a plan for me and my family.

Life changes and we need to change with it or get lost in the shuffle and could become depressed. I am so glad I pulled myself out of that depression and changed my heart.

Thinking positively!

My sister, Juli, is her visiting. That in itself brings a smile to my face! She was able to come out for about 10 days this time. We are having a good time. Tomorrow we get to do our traditional shopping at Gordman's! I don't go unless we have family in town. It ends up being a treat for both of us!

I have had a not so nice experience this week with some internet fraud. It's amazing to me how dishonest people can be. I have started using cloth diapers, which Todd strongly dislikes. I have been purchasing them on a sight where you can get good used diapers to try at lower prices. Unfortunately a woman decided to scam some of us out of some money. So, now I am feeling very cautious and maybe a little paranoid about purchasing any more. I am having to file reports to the FBI and the IA local police. No fun!

But on a happier note...I really like these diapers. Todd on the other hand...does not. They can be messy but I am looking at the future when they save us money on diapers. And...I can re-sell them to someone who wants them when I am through with them. I see it as a win win situation. :) But...how do you convince Todd? He is very much a man of convenience when he can be. These cloth diapers are not necessarily convenient. I have to carry a wet bag (for dirty diapers), extra diapers (which are much thicker than disposables), and cloth wipes. Really, it isn't that much more. He just thinks that cleaning the dirty diapers is gross! Then there is a part of me that knows I will be losing some of my help if I continue with cloth. Todd is awesome at helping change diapers, among many other things. He had always been very helpful with the kids. So, if he doesn't like the cloth diapers he doesn't like to change them and...there goes some of my help. Oh...what to do...

This week we have gone to a Royals baseball game where they played against the Minnesota Twins. That was surprisingly fun! The boys really seemed to enjoy it. Max got tired after a while and wanted to go home, but did really well considering. The best part was that it was a really good game. TJ was cheering right along with everyone else. He was really into the game. It was so fun to see his excitement. And boy can he cheer loudly!!! I'm surprised he didn't lose his voice.

Today we went to the Deanna Rose Children's Farmstead in Kansas. We have gone there one other time and the kids really enjoyed it. So I thought they would like it again, but the excitement apparently wore off. It just didn't hold their attention like it did the first time. We suggested the KC Zoo for Friday but Todd didn't like that idea, so we decided that we will go the movies instead. We never get to go to the movies anymore because it just costs too much. This will be a fun treat for the kids.

Well, I think I will go sit on the couch with Todd and relax for a few minutes before I head to bed. I'm keeping a smile on my face and a prayer in my heart!

Life!

I have been spending a little more time online these last few days trying to search for the perfect cloth diaper. Some of you make think like Todd..."NO, I am NOT changing cloth diapers!" But with the new diapers they are almost like disposables. And they save hundreds of dollars. I am trying to find ones that Todd would be okay with. Wish me luck!!! There are soooo many!

It rained pretty hard last night. I used to be terrified of thunder storms until I had to condition myself to them in Missouri. In Maine I thought thunder storms were loud. HA! The first ones I heard in Missouri...I was terrified! They are so loud, they come fast and there is always a fear of tornadoes. I have learned to sleep through most heavy rains and some thunder too...but when it gets really loud...and the sirens start blaring...there is no sense in staying in bed. Last night was one of those nights. I had put Alyssa down for bed at about 8:30 or 9:00pm and I tiptoed downstairs to use the computer. Lyssa slept for about an hour and a half and then woke up. So, I nursed her back to sleep and came back down to the computer. This happened 2 more times before 11:30 and then the I went to bed. But...not long after going to bed the storm got bad and then the sirens went off...so Lyssy-loo was awake again. She woke again multiple times last night. This morning I am exhausted. Uugh! Lyssa has been sleeping for most of the night lately and waking only once. That has been so nice. I look forward to sleeping for 8 or 9 hours!!!

Oh whoa is me! My allergies, that I hoped would go away after pregnancy, are back again. Sneezing...without stop...nasal congestion...coughing...eyes running. OOOOOH YUCK! I had been doing really well and they weren't bad at all but Spring this year was so mild...I should have known it was coming. So I tried to increase my supplement that helps with allergies and Alyssa couldn't get enough milk. Ooops. It is a good thing it only lasts for the night! Then in the morning my milk was back...phew! So, I am back to using Claritin...but it doesn't completely fix the issues. I need to go get acupuncture done again so I can feel better! I LOVE acupuncture! It is so relaxing! LOL! I am getting so "crunchy"! At least more than I used to be!!!

Lyssy-loo is calling...

Love it!!

I love when I learn new cleaning techniques. I had 5 pieces of baby clothing that had mildew stains on them. I was really sad too because they were really cute and she had only worn them once or twice. They had gotten stuck in with some wet towels and then got mildew on them. So I tried something new. Oxyclean. I had never used it before and was a little skeptical. I put the clothing in a large bowl with the mixture to soak. I let it soak all day and all night and then put it into the washing machine. All but one of them came completely clean! I was shocked and very pleased. I love it when it works! It makes my day! And saves me money I might have spent on new clothing.

Friendship

I love good friends. We all need them. Heavenly Father put us here on earth to learn and grow. Who better to do that with than our girl friends. My best friend from high school texted me the other night when there was some high stress going on and she was upset. She asked me why men can't handle the crying...and why can't they just give you a hug and tell you it will be okay. GOOD QUESTION!!! We are just different beings. So I thought about it for a minute and then sent back a text. I told her that that is why we have women. We can sympathize, comfort, hug, cry along with each other and so forth. Men aren't gonna get it! Though sometimes they learn to just understand that that is how we are! So, we call our girl friends, our sisters, and we talk about our woes.

How does Heavenly Father answer our prayers? In so many instances they are answered by our friends, our sisters. When we need a pick me up, a shoulder to cry on, a chocolate fix or just a listening ear, He sends us friends. He sends us earthly Angels to take care of us.

I remember when I had my first miscarriage...
I had been praying for a sister in our ward. I didn't understand her and I wanted to be able to love her the way our Father in Heaven loves her. So I had been praying. Then I had a miscarriage. TJ was about 6 months old or so. I cried and was a little upset but not nearly as emotional as I thought I would be. I seemed to be handling it pretty well. It snowed, and in Maine when it snows, it really snows! There was a knock at the door. This sister, for whom I had been praying, stood there with red roses in her hand. I welcomed her in and we chatted a bit and then she offered to shovel my driveway. I declined the offer but we were able to talk a bit more. This sister had been through numerous miscarriages and she knew how I felt. She came to bring me a little joy. She was my earthly Angel that day.

I am so thankful for the gospel of Jesus Christ in my life. If it weren't for the church I wouldn't have all of my wonderful friends here in Missouri.

Before we moved from Maine to Missouri I had been praying for a friend who could understand me and who shared my beliefs. I prayed constantly for that friend. Little did I know that I would be sent to Missouri to find her! I have so many wonderful church friends now and know that this is where I needed to be.

Have you gotten a hug, phone call or just a quick pick-me-up from your friend, your sister, today?

Cute Baby!

Ever get the blessing of hearing baby belly laughs? Well, if you haven't lately, go find a baby to listen to. It is so much fun! Colin was bouncing a bouncy ball and each time he did Alyssa broke into the most hysterical belly laughs.


Then he would bounce it again and...here come more belly laughs!





Such a cute baby!!! I am a little biased though! I need to take more pictures of the boys. They just get bored with me when I do it. But it is again time for new photos on the wall.

My personality type!

I learned some things about myself last night. I took a personality test, the MyersBriggs, at a church Enrichment group night. It was fun. I learned that I am an introvert. Does that sound right to you? At first the results really disturbed me but my good friend Cheryl helped me understand it more clearly. Thanks Cheryl!

A ha! I realized that where I am comfortable I will talk, but where I am not comfortable I am silent.

I get picked on a lot. All my life I have been an "easy target", as some would say. I strongly dislike it. After many years of it I finally have learned how to stand my ground. Sometimes not so nicely!

It is very hard for me to talk to people I do not know. I don’t like large group settings. I don’t like to be the center of attention in group settings either. If I am going to be in a large setting I want to take someone with me. I then feel comfortable. If no one is available to come with me, I just don’t go. Or I am uncomfortable and nervous while there.

I realized why I talk so much to those I am the closest to. I am comfortable with them. I don’t talk otherwise. How weird! I am a situational extrovert. Fascinating!

This is just so interesting to me. I want to know more!

Todd is an extrovert. He very easily engages people in conversation and I stress about it. I hide my stress, but then I sweat! No joke! When I go to the Doctor’s office, which is rare, I sweat the entire time. I do not like talking to people I don’t know. Most of the time I feel like they don’t quite understand me; or they think that I’m a little strange. When I know a person and know that they love me for who I am, I am much more comfortable. I have a really hard time being wrong. I get very embarrassed if I am wrong. I used to hate being called on to talk in class when I was in school. Even though I am a smart person and did well in school I hated the pressure.

I am doing a lot of reflecting today. Love it! Yup...that is introverted! What a nut I am! I am starting to really think about my personality. What makes me who I am. We shall see where that takes me!

Good times!

WooHoo! I just broke the 150 mark!! I am so excited! This has been hard for me. Hard how, you ask? I hate not being able to just eat what I want, when I want. I have struggled with it. I am a muncher. I like sitting with a bag of chips and just munching. Which is totally bad. So, I eat lots of veggies and salads and then at the end of the day I have left over points so I can eat a FEW munchies. They are measured portions though. So, I'm doing it, but there are some things that I wish I could have, but I just won't allow myself to waste points on them. I can finally eat chocolate though and I have found that the fun size 3Musketeers bars are low in points. So I can have one or two and get my chocolate fix and move on.

Mother's Day has come and gone. This one was only eventful because I spoke in sacrament meeting. It was interesting. Todd left Saturday morning to go to Puerto Rico! He got in late that night, but on Sunday they were tourists. Oh...he has such a hard job! He is working during the days, but then they go out to eat, shopping, swimming on the beach, and who knows what else! My talk went really well. Thanks to Brother Sorrento and Cheyanne (our neighbor) who watched the boys, I was able to talk without worrying about the kids. Brother Helm had the pleasure of taking Alyssa for me. I truly believe that Heavenly Father blessed me that day. I didn't feel overwhelmed and stressed. It went smoothly. When others started to call to see how I was doing I realized how crazy it must have looked to everyone! But miraculously I felt at peace. Thank goodness. What a great blessing.

We are looking forward to going to Maine this summer. We will get to be there for three weeks. My best friend,Kristy, is getting married during that time. That will be fun. Juli is having back surgery and will be in pain, so we get to take care of her and entertain her. Then my grandmother will be there for a while too. It is going to be a good trip.

I am taking a rest today. I don't sleep well when Todd is away. I did better when he was gone more often, but am out of practice now. That doesn't mean I want him to be gone more again! We are contemplating adopting a dog so that I can deal with it better. When we were in Maine we had a husky named Malachi who made me feel so much safer with Todd away. Todd used to work in New York during the week and then could only come home on weekends. It has awful! That horrid job is part of why we moved to Missouri. Anyway...I thought that if we got a dog, after our trip to Maine, then it could make me feel more safe. We shall see!

The weather in Missouri has been mild lately. I love having the windows open and letting fresh air in.

Oh, last Friday I sanded, primed and painted Colin's and Max's room. It took all day. Colin helped paint and I took pix of him. He did a great job! Max helped a little too. Then Todd did the very top trim, because I was exhausted! Saturday morning, before Todd went to Puerto Rico, we moved the boys' bed and dressers into the room! Then we put up Alyssa's crib in the now empty room. All I need to do now is fix holes in Alyssa's wall, prime and paint. Then we move on to my room. It is the nastiest light yellow paint on half of the room and flowery wall paper on the other half. YUCK...with a capital Y! I am sure that will take me longer to do, but at least one room is complete!

The boys are really into these Bakugan toys. TJ has the most, but all the boys have a few. They are small round balls the size of a walnut. When you roll them onto the cards, which have metal inside, they pop open and reveal a creature. Each one has a power level. Anyway, they are really enjoying them.

School is almost over and soon we will be into Summer School. This is the first place I have ever been where it is something they encourage all students to attend. It is really fun. TJ is signed up to do the CSI class, Alex is in the Sports Medicine class and Colin will be in a class. Max won't be going because they will not provide a Para Professional for him. But that is just fine with me. Summer school is only half a day for four days a week. On the fourth day if they have had perfect attendance they are allowed to swim for free at the pool. The only downfall is that they have to be on the bus at 7:30am. That means I have to get up earlier. Another YUCK! But it will be good too. Colin will get familiar with the school and hopefully make some new friends. I can't believe he starts kindergarten in the fall. Holy Moly!

Alyssa is saying dadadada, and babababa. She is so cute. I find that I don't like putting her in the boys old clothes. I love putting her in girlie clothing. She is so cute in pink and purple. I like the cute little jeans they make for them and the little t-shirts. I don't do too frilly though. I can't stand anything too lacy. I am still a tom boy at heart! But I want my baby to be cute too. I tried some bows on a couple of Sundays but they just get in the way. So, we just settle for a cute dress. I love second hand shops too. Then I can get some of the cute name brand items at a very small cost. The other day I splurged and got an adorable pair of Gymboree jeans for her that cost me $7. That is a lot for me to spend. The most I usually spend is about $3.50 if it is in really good condition. And if it isn't really cute, I won't buy it.

Alyssa sits on her own, for the most part, and is eating little bits of food. She hates pureed food like apples and pears. So, we skipped the first baby food and we are doing table food. She is usually happy.

I'm going to go do some more laundry and clean the house. I need to get something done!

Being A Mommy!

I wrote this back in 2003 and sometimes I just have to read it and remind myself why I am a Mom and why I love it! If you have already read this before, sorry! But I needed it today!

Being a Mommy!
By Kara Cantwell
March 22, 2003

Life as a Mom has its many ups and downs. Just like everyday life, we Moms go through our rollercoaster days! But when you think about it, you realize that all of those nasty, awful days could never outweigh the wonderful ones. The days that you go to clean the mirrored sliding closet doors and you find tiny little finger prints that your little shadows have smeared with slobber or whatever food or lollipops they were eating, and you realize how precious those tiny little hands really are. They won’t stay small for long. Those silly little belly laughs that make you grin spontaneously are what keep you going from day to day. Hearing the imagination of an almost 5 year old amazes you because you realize that they hear everything that you say. There is nothing in the whole entire world more rewarding and more wonderful than being blessed every day with spirits from Heavenly Father. He didn’t send them to torment us, although some days we feel like He might have! He sent them to teach us. Are we like little children? That is what we need to be. My children get so excited to find that beautiful glowing ball in the sky at night. “Look, Look, Look, Momma.” they exclaim. And you had better answer them the first time because they will repeat it until you do. “What”, I say. To which they reply, “The Moon!” The many creations of this world constantly amaze those sparkling little eyes! Ever noticed how the smallest touch from Mom can calm them? God has put within us something that we may never understand, the power to sooth and comfort. A big grin from Mom can almost always put a quick smile on the face of a sad toddler. To hold a baby, to listen to the noises and babblings and sounds they are trying to make, to look deep into their eyes and feel of their love makes you feel as if you have almost caught a glimpse of the kind of unconditional love that the Savior, Jesus Christ has for each of us. When they climb onto your lap and put their tiny little arms around you and lay their head on your shoulder, you are bound to be moved by the warm feeling that tingles through your body. There is nothing in the whole world more wonderful than the blessing of being allowed to raise the beautiful spirits that Heavenly Father has given you. No one can ever explain to you before you become a Mom how it will affect your life. So, if you ever wonder if you will make it through this day, you will. Remember the awesome days, the moments in your life that sparkle in your memory. God gave us the bad so that we could appreciate the good. Here is your chance. On your bad day, be thankful for all of those wonderful, unexplainable moments with your children. I know Heavenly Father will bless us with more!