A good ending to a day!

Thursday morning I woke after having very little sleep and forced myself out of bed at 6:45am. By the time I had TJ and Alex out of bed and was finished with making Max's lunch I actually had some energy. I decided not to take the time for a nap. Kids got off to school fairly easily, which was a nice blessing that morning. I fed Alyssa and made sure she was happy in the swing and started my exercise. Now, for any of you who know me well you know that I am a bit obsessive about some things. I have tried to make sure I lose my pregnancy weight each time I have another little one. With TJ it was pretty easy and I was back to my high school weight in a few months. With Alex, I gained a LOT more, so I worked out for 4 months and lost the weight. It was still easy at that age. But then I didn't work out any more. Max came and I can't even remember how long it took. My goal by then was not as low though. High school weight would just be too thin after 3 babies. I didn't gain much that time because we were packing our house and getting ready to move to Kansas City. Then Colin came and I exercised some but wasn't doing it a lot. When Colin was 9 months old my knee started swelling. This had happened before when we were in Maine. There was no obvious cause so the doctors couldn't tell me what to do to prevent it. Well, I tried to just deal with it and then I couldn't walk. I couldn't deal with that. So, I stopped nursing and went on an anti-inflammatory. In about three months time my knee began swelling again. I was still taking the anti-inflammatory too. I prayed that I would find a way to help my knee. I found two solutions that came to me: one was that I needed to work out on a regular basis, and two was that I needed to start on some decent multi vitamins. Once I started taking my new vitamins and working out my knee was back to normal size in 4 days. No drugs. Anyway, since that time I have been kind of obsessed with working out and taking my vitamins. I feel better, have more energy, sleep much better and lose weight. I hoped that when I got pregnant this time, with Alyssa, I would be able to work out throughout the pregnancy, but I was not able to. I tried to go walking with some friends from church and I would end up in pain for the next couple of days. So, I gained about 40 pounds. Not horrible, but not the best either. The kicker is that now I am over 30 years old. I was 28 when I had Colin. It wasn’t too hard to lose the weight. I am 33 now and struggling with how in the world to make this weight go away. Yes, I know she is only 3 months old, but I am noticing a huge difference in how fast you can, or can’t, shed pounds once you reach your 30's. Yikes! My goals are much different now. If I ever dropped back to high school weight, 125, I would look sickly. So, I have a healthy goal set for my height and age. So, I work out 5 days a week for 30 minutes each day. Sometimes I even get in a 6th day. Yah, I’m a little obsessed!

This week I noticed a large amount of cardinals on our brown back lawn. They stand out distinctly against the dead grass. It was so neat to watch them, bright red males and brownish females, as they fluttered around our yard from the trees, to the ground, to the deck. Once they were startled they seemed to take flight simultaneously. It was a neat sight. It has happened several times this week and I count myself blessed. I feel like the nature in our small back yard is a blessing sent from a loving Father in Heaven who knows of my love of His creations. You just don’t get to see a lot of it around here. So, it is a bright spot in my day when I do.

I taught a lesson today in church, which I don’t do very often. It was on the topic of Love One Another. I prepared. I prayed for the guidance of the spirit. It was a hard lesson to teach. I struggled through it. It makes me appreciate the days when it goes smoothly! Don’t you wish all days could run smoothly? But then how strong would be truly be? So, I am grateful for the trial of today and I learned a lot.

I love newborn giggles! Aaah…the joy! I was being silly while holding Alyssa on my lap and she started giggling each time I put her feet onto my cheeks. A giggle from a child is so contagious and so healing. It makes you feel good!

Colin, so sweet, still gets to stay up a little later with us in the evening because he doesn’t have to be up early for school. He begs for a snack. When we have already said no to the cookies and hot chocolate and the tears begin to fill his pretty blue eyes my heart just melts. But, I have to stick to what I told him, right? Okay. So, I consult with Todd and we determine that the soup Colin had for supper was not filling enough and he can have some crackers. I didn’t cave. But I gave him a better option. It can be so hard to stick to what you tell your kids. I know sometimes I want to just give in, but that won’t teach them anything except that if you keep pushing Mom’s buttons she will give in.

It is a good ending to this day! I am grateful for learning moments, for tender mercies of the Lord, phone calls from my Mom and sister, warm hugs and kisses from my kids and husband and most especially for the Gospel of Jesus Christ in my life. Have a great day!

One Step At A Time

I have spent many an hour at the computer yesterday just working on our Relief Society newsletter and other items. Needless to say I was a little fried when I got done yesterday. As I was driving to get Colin to school I was listening to my thoughts as they rolled around in my brain. Something clicked and I suddenly had an overwhelming desire to be an awesome Mother. No yelling at my children when I am frustrated, always taking the time with them, etc, etc, etc. I was determined.

I picked up Colin and was getting him into the car and noticed that I was a little snippy with him. Great! That was a fabulous start! I realized how very hard it is to be the kind of person I truly want to be. I am not a terrible person, but I want to be so much better. Don't we all?

I know that when I am tired I am a little less pleasant with my family. After 12 years of marriage I finally have that figured out. So, my determination to be a fabulous Mother, all at once no less, was a little hasty. I have to remind myself to take it one step at a time. One moment at a time. One day at a time.

I got a little more sleep last night and am able to be more pleasant today. Oh how I long to be that perfect Mother. Probably when my kids are all adults I will have it figured out. Maybe!! So, I am determined today to do better than I did yesterday. One step at a time. Line upon line!

Autism

I wake up each morning not knowing what the day will bring. Of course, so does every other person on the planet! Max had a couple of really hard days on Monday and Tuesday this week. He had been sick with a fever for 5 days and was finally feeling better, but was having a hard time just dealing with disappointments in his day. I was supposed to get him to do some school work before Wednesday, but it didn't happen. He ended up on his bed screaming, Tuesday, until he cried himself to sleep. That was better than allowing him to hit me. So, Wednesday morning I woke up wondering how he would be that day. I went to his bed, sat on the edge and rubbed his back while talking softly to him. I told him it was time to get up. He said, "I hate school. I'm not going." This is normal for him. He will say it all morning and my reply is always, "I know". I told him I was making his toast and he needed to get up and come eat it. I carefully used a soft sing-song voice each time I spoke. When the toast was done, he was still not at the table so I called to him again and let him know it was on the table. He emerged wrapped in his fleece Tigger blanket from head to to. No part of his face was showing. He walked to his chair and sat down. He said he couldn't eat. So, I sat next to him, unwrapped his head and started feeding him one bite at a time. Now some of you might ask, "Why in the world is she feeding a 7 year old?" And my answer would be, "That is what he needed at that moment." I got him talking, smiling, giggling. He told me he likes to snuggle with me at night. So, I promised that I would snuggle with him that night. I offered a reward; 15 minutes on the Wii after school, if he finished his breakfast. He took about 45 minutes to finish his food. He earned his 15 minutes. Next I coaxed him to eat his vitamins and g3 juice. I encouraged him and told him what a great job he was doing. I kept hoping and praying that his mood would continue to lift and that he would get ready for school without too much trouble. Finally he was done with that part of the morning. Then I offered more time on the Wii if he would go take off his pull-up and get dressed. He went and did it! I congratulated him on earning 30 minutes to play! We continued. He needed his socks, shoes, coat and mittens. He accomplished those tasks. I praised him some more. Then I reminded him to find a small toy to put in his pocket for school. The rest of the morning went smoothly and I felt relieved. He got on the bus and was off.

Days will go by and Max doesn't exhibit a lot of the symptoms of Autism, but then there will be days filled with fit throwing, screaming, hitting, kicking, slamming doors, and what ever else he can think of to express his frustrations.

After that morning I breathed a sigh of relief and prayed his day at school would go okay. Then I sat and nursed my sweet beautiful girl and thanked my Father in Heaven for her and her sweet little spirit. Colin sat at the kitchen table with his back to the sliding glass door eating his manderin oranges. I could see him from my chair in the living room. He thought I wasn't watching him! The sun was shining in on his back and cast a bright spot on the wall. He must have noticed his shadow on the wall because he started raising his arm straight above his head. He was staring at the shadow with quiet fascination. His hand was in a fist. He turned his arm slowing and continued to watch the shadow. Next he opened his hand with his fingers spread wide. At one angle you couldn't see the fingers in the shadow, and as he turned it slowly the fingers came into view. It was so sweet to watch him discover and play with his shadow. Then he slowly put his arm down and continued eating his oranges. He looked up and saw me smiling at him and got this crooked smile on his face and asked, "What?" I just giggled and told him he was silly!

Looking back on yesterday morning I realize how awesome my two big kids are. TJ and Alex were there, getting ready without my prodding them and they did what they needed to. They must have known that I needed everything I had just to take care of Max that morning. I am so thankful for them. Heavenly Father truly blesses us even in our times of trial. I am so thankful for my Father in Heaven and for his love for me.

When Max came home I read the note from the teacher I receive each day and it said he had a awesome day! He hates writing time and the teacher said he did great with his writing. I awarded him more minutes on the Wii. Max was in heaven!!

Last night, after a crazy day, we had the missionaries over to teach a young man who is dating a young woman in the ward. They asked me to be prepared to teach about Tithing. Okay. I never served a mission. I have been a member all my life, but I have never taught a discussion. I have only borne my testimony when I felt it was appropriate during a discussion. So, feelings of inadequacy surfaced even as I prepared. The section in Preach My Gospel about tithing was tiny. So, I kept a prayer in my heart. But I was still nervous. When Elder Itsep called on me he said I would be talking about the Sabbath Day. My first reaction was, "That's not what you had me prepare!" And I thought I was nervous before! AAGH! They must have thought my reaction was quite funny. Todd explained, in Spanish, that I prepared a little about tithing. I don't know why I get so nervous except that I don't want to screw it up. It needs to be just right. (A little OCD I know, but I can't seem to help it!) So, I gave my prepared part. I was sweating profusely! The back of my knees were wet and my face felt like it was visibly dripping with sweat. It was awful! It seemed to go well and everyone added to it and we moved on. I finally cooled off and was fine. After they left I asked Todd how I did. He said I did great. AAH! Relief. He said that I made it personal and because I spoke directly to him and didn't preach to him it went really well. Well, maybe I just need a little more practice so I don't get so nervous.

Yes, I kept my promise to Max. I snuggled with him for a few minutes.

So, by the end of the evening I had a headache. I took something for it, had Todd rub my head and went to bed. Alyssa slept all night. YES! But I woke with a migraine. UGH! I think I would take the lack of sleep over a migraine!

So, this morning Max did a little better. He was a little aggressive, but soon calmed down and ate on his own. I still gave him rewards but I didn't have to sit with him for every step. Though I didn't handle him as well as when I am headache free, we still ended up with a decent morning.

I just got off the phone with Max's teacher, Mrs. Hall. He struggles with a desire to get his work done on many occasions. He had a reading test today and to help him do it they told him he could call me on the phone after it was done to tell me how well he did. So, of course, he did awesome! He was read a story and had to retell in his own words 3 things that happened and he did great! I am so proud of him. So, he gets on the phone and I congratulated him and he said, " Do I get more minutes?" AAH! What a cutie! I asked, "Do you want more Wii minutes for doing good on the test?" He said "ya". "Okay. You can have 10 more minutes on the Wii. You keep doing a good job at school, okay. I love you!" We said goodbye and Mrs. Hall thanked me for taking the time to talk to Max. My first thought was, why wouldn't I take the time to talk to my child on the phone? So, he had it in his mind that if he did well I would reward him with time on the Wii. Such a smart kid. Tears roll down my face as I think of how far he has come and what an awesome kid he is. I feel so blessed.

So, I feel like I can move on with my day. My headache is almost gone. A great blessing! And now I think I can get in my workout and move forward. I think of all of you who might read this and wish a great day for each of you.

How fast can your thoughts go?

Crazy Day! My mind feels like it is going a hundred miles a minute. And for what? Nothing really. I worked out this morning, showered, ate and then have been on the phone quite a bit. The boys are happy because I am kind of out of it today and they are playing a little extra time on video games. Yuck. Tonight is our first weigh-in for the pound plunge. I hope I have lost something! We shall see! I think I needed a little more sleep last night. The van kept beeping, from the garage, last night and we couldn't figure out what was going on. It sounded like someone was locking the van doors, but my keys were in my purse. It kept happening and I got a little uneasy so I didn't sleep well. And of course we were safe, but you know what crazy things your mind can do when you are tired!! I hope the rest of my day goes a little better and I feel less crazy!

Martin Luther King Jr. Day

I have always been a fan of Martin Luther King Jr. I have a great respect for all that he did. Not only did he make a huge difference in peoples' live, he also has a great birthday. I was born on the same day! So, on my 18th birthday my family plastered my parents' apartment with pictures of Martin Luther King. It was one of those birthdays that will always stay in my memory. So, in honor of this man we have a day off from school!

I started my morning off earlier than I had planned because I woke up wheezing and coughing. I don't know what I am allergic to, but it all started when I was pregnant this last time and it comes and goes still. So while the house was still quiet with sleeping kids I dug out my scriptures and manuals for next weeks lessons. It was nice to read, and ponder in peace and quiet. After about an hour the family began to wake up and make their way into the living room. Time for the day to begin!

The house is a mess, dishes are all over the counter and laundry is piled sky high. The boys are running around the house playing happily with toys; making sound effects that only boys can make and make well. Have you ever tried to make the sounds that they do when they are playing pretend. My mouth just can't make that happen! So, they are running up and down the stairs carrying their toys and pretending to be their assigned characters. And yes, I said assigned. One person usually starts by saying, "I call Batman!" The next says, "I call Joker!" and so on until they all have their assignments. Then playtime begins. It is the most organized play I have seen. Do you think it has anything to do with the fact that their mother is a little OCD?

Alyssa is sitting in the swing watching this craziness! Todd is in the semi heated garage changing the oil in the vehicles. I went to check on him a while ago and found his lying under the van, light shining under the van so he can see, getting very upset with a piece that would not come loose. Now if any of you know Todd you know that he hates it when things don't go smoothly with cars or plumbing. I happened to come in just as he was about to throw something. So, I gave him the advice that he always gives me when I am frustrated with the budget, "Put it down, walk away and take a short break. When you come back to it you will be able to see things more clearly and with less anger." He didn't really like that. He wondered how that would really help the nut loosen any better than it was right then. I went back into the house. A while later I checked on him again. He was in a much better mood as he was able to loosen the part successfully. Isn't it amazing how something like changing the oil can make our mood so sour so quickly!

As I hold my warm, sleeping, sweet smelling girl I look forward to a day of cleaning, Visiting Teaching and kids playing. I hope all of you have a blissful day!

Resting on Sunday

Okay! As this is a work in progress you will see that our page has changed yet again! After reading my Mom's email and realizing that you couldn't see some of the text I decided to figure out how to change font color. Okay, so in my sleep deprived state of mind late last night I couldn't see the link that was right in front of my face. So, now that I am more coherent I was able to change the font color! Yeah! Now you all can read what wonderful words I write. Isn't that fabulous?

Todd is headed to church right now. We have afternoon church this year and we are thoroughly enjoying our time to sleep in. It is splendid. And yes, I am at home, yet again, with sick children. Max is finally starting to feel better and now TJ is coming down with it. So, it will have gone through all of the boys by the end of this week! And since I don't want to spread these nasty germs on to anyone in the Primary, I opted to stay home with them so that Todd could still teach his class.

I figures that on the Sunday that I am actually prepared I get to stay home. I finally read my lessons and was excited to be able to participate a little more. But alas, it was not to be. So, I will read next week's lessons today in hopes that all of my children will be well so that I might attend church!

Oh, my brain is fried! I have been sitting here playing with the new blog! I have a tiny little bundle curled up all snugly on my chest breathing softly. My arm is tingling because is has fallen fast asleep trying to hold her up while I type. I have new pictures that I am going to attempt to upload to the blog so everyone can see our little cutie.
Todd is a little jealous. He was the one to get the first laugh from each of the boys. I was the one to get the first laugh out of Alyssa! I think he is pretty lucky to have 4 out of 5.
I feel so immensely blessed. Some days I just can't put it into words how awesome it feels to have this beautiful new baby to hold.

Welcome to the start of our family blog!

We have decided to start a blog so family and friends can be updated on what's happening in our family. We plan on keeping it as updated as possible but we cannot guarantee how often that phenomenon will occur. Check out what we have so far...