Life Changes!

There have been moments in my life when I felt strongly that change was a horrible thing. I didn’t like to see it coming…and when it hit without warning I was pretty devastated. I have learned over the years, that change is good. It brings about growth, both spiritual and temporal.

When I was younger my parents owned an ice cream shop. It was awesome. I was privileged enough to work at the shop. We carried some of the highest quality ice cream around. It was some awesome creamy goodness! That is how I became an Ice Cream “snob”! But then one day we had to close up shop for good. It was hard. We hadn’t owned the shop for long, but had become attached to it in many ways. The hardest part was losing the house that we grew up in.

At first our home was just a basement, with no home on top. It was a work in progress. When it rained the ceiling would leak in numerous places and we would have to put buckets underneath the drips. I remember once it was so bad that there was quite a bit of water all over the concrete floor. We had a blast running and sliding through the water…until we fell and hurt our bottoms! We may not have had a lot but we made do with what we had. It was a home. A home where our Mom kept it clean and tidy; a home where the gospel of Jesus Christ was taught; a home where love was shone one to another.

I don’t remember when, but we started building the house on top of the basement. My Dad, whom I followed around where ever he went, would go into the woods, cut down trees, strip their bark and haul them, on his shoulders, out of the woods. I remember pulling the bark from the fallen trees. Sometimes the brown bark would easily peel right off from the smooth wooden surface and other times it would take a lot of tugging to get it loose. It was hard to get the bark to come off around a knot in the tree or a spot where a limb had been.

I remember the logs being taken to a mill where two opposite sides where cut to make them flat surfaces. Then they were stacked on top of each other with a piece of insulation in between. Men from church came out and helped put the walls together. Once a log was stacked they would drive long spikes into them to hold them in place. I remember men straddling the partially built walls with hammers in their hands just swinging away.

First the main floor was built and completed and the rest remained unfinished on the inside. Over the years, little by little, the second floor was finished. Even though the look of the home had changed, the family inside was still doing the same things. We continued to learn about our Father in Heaven and our Savior Jesus Christ. I still followed my Dad around where ever he went. One of my favorite things to do with my Dad was walk in the woods. He taught me names of flowers, the different animals, how to take a good picture, and just how to enjoy my surrounding. I loved helping him mow that huge lawn. He would mow a large square and then hand the lawn mower over to me and I mowed the inside of the square. It was fun to watch that huge lawn gradually look short and tidy.

One of my fondest memories was going as a family into the woods to find the perfect Christmas tree. We were looking for the best one for our Savior. We would all bundle up in our handmade mittens, hats and scarves and drudge out through the white fluffy snow to find that perfect tree. We would cut down a tree that was hundreds of feet tall, or so it seemed! Then Dad would cut of the top and drag it back home.

So, our home was no longer ours. We had to say good bye. We didn’t have to leave the neighborhood that we loved and that was a blessing. It was hard at first to make that change. We moved across the street to our Grandmother’s house.
Gram had an attic that was such a neat place to go. You walked slowly up the steep old stairs into a dusty dark room. It had two windows, but it was still dark. The wood floor was covered in a thick layer of dust. There were crates and boxes full of books. There were shelves filled with books. There were trunks filled with treasures and there was a huge Bear skin hanging from the ceiling in the back corner. It was a treat to go up into Gram’s attic and look for a treasure. The creepiest part for me was that there were bats living in the bear skin. It was a neat place to be to get your imagination flowing.

This attic was now going to be our home. Yuck, you must be thinking! We took many hours to clean that attic. Everything was taken out. The floor boards were swept and re-swept. Then the construction began. I don’t remember much of it but I remember being excited for something new. The floor boards were taken out and cleaned and a new floor was put in. There were three bedrooms, a living room, a kitchen, a laundry room and a bathroom. The old attic floor boards were then cleaned and cut to the right length and put on the walls in the living room. They only went about half way up the wall.

So, things changed. We moved into our new home. But the same things were still being done. We were still taught the gospel of Jesus Christ in our home. We showed love one to another. We were still a family.

The next change that happened, that I can remember, is that I moved out with a friend. I was practicing my independence! That didn’t last long. A few months later, I met Todd and then moved back home to save up for a wedding. Many changes happened after Todd and I got married…but the same things were going on at home. Todd and I have tried to continue those same principles that we were taught in our home. The biggest change for me came when, after being married for almost 5 years, Todd approached me about moving to Missouri; his home state; his home; his friends. I prayed and prayed and wanted desperately to do what Heavenly Father wanted me to do. I wanted to stay at home. It was safe and comfortable. I wanted to be near my family and friends. It was comfortable near them. Then my answer came. It was a hard answer and harder to share with my family. I felt like my heart was being ripped from my chest. I cried and pleaded with the Lord hoping that I had misunderstood, but the answer was still the same. We needed to move. More than that, we would be okay. So, we packed up our things. Todd went out to his new job in Missouri while I stayed to pack the rest of the house. I was pregnant with Max at the time and prayed for help daily. Heavenly Father blessed me immensely. I made it through.

Max was 2 weeks old, we had just celebrated Christmas, and we packed up the u-haul and moved to Missouri. I was miserable. I was okay for the first part because my Mom came with me. She was my link to home. Then she had to go back home to Maine and I had to learn to fend for myself.

Things changed!!! Again!

For about 8 months I hated Missouri. I hated where I was and I hated life. I was depressed. Then one day I realized that if I didn’t pull myself out of this slump I would be miserable forever. I didn’t want that. So, I embarked on making a change in my attitude. And…things changed yet again. After about 2 years of living in Missouri I began to see the good. My heart had changed. I had accepted that God wanted me and my little family here. We may have changed, our hearts may have changed, the location of our home may have changed but what was taught in our homes had not. We continue to teach our children daily to love our Father in Heaven and our Savior Jesus Christ. We continue to teach them about the gospel of Jesus Christ. We continue to try to show love to one another within our home.

So, a lot has changed over the years and my anxiety over change isn’t as bad as it used to be. I look at things differently now. We will go where the Lord wants and needs us to go. We will make a home where ever we are. We will find friends where ever we are.

Change is good. It may not be easy but it is good. It helps us grow. I know I am a better, stronger person because of all of the changes that have occurred in my life. I am so thankful for all of my many wonderful and numerous blessings. I am thankful to be where I am and to know that Heavenly Father wants me here and has a plan for me and my family.

Life changes and we need to change with it or get lost in the shuffle and could become depressed. I am so glad I pulled myself out of that depression and changed my heart.