Middle School and Autism

(Left to right: Max 6th grade, TJ or "Johnny" 10th grade, Alex or "Lex" 8th grade, and Colin 4th grade)

Today is a new day. Today is the first day of school.  TODAY is Max's first day of middle school.  Anxieties have been very high over the last few weeks.  He is scared of being bullied.  He is scared of not knowing where to go and what to do.  He likes routine.  He likes things to stay the same.

Max has been screaming, pushing, slamming doors, stomping, growling, hitting and simply having a rough time.

Autism. It makes things that are hard for a "normal" child 100 times more difficult.  It makes understanding things harder.  It takes patience to a whole new level.

We have sat down with the school and talked with Max's new case manager, principal, and team of teachers.  They are all eager to work with Max and help him to be successful. We have voiced our concerns.  We have discussed a plan.  The plan is in place.

We took Max in to the school to walk around and see his classrooms while there were no other students there.  He tried out his locker...several times.  He knows his way around pretty well.  He is beginning to feel more comfortable.  We attending Open House and he did very well.  He even saw a few friends from elementary school; one who has been so sweet to him came up and gave him a hug.  I know Heavenly Father has put people in place to bless Max's life; people who are sweet and kind and can see how amazing Max is.  These friends of him are some of these sweet people.  They are amazing.

The last thing I had to get in place was the bus ride. I called the bus garage and spoke with the man there.  I asked if he could make sure that Max got to sit in the front seat every day.  His response, "There are a  lot of kids who need to be in the front.  We'll try to get him as close to the front as possible." I thought, are you NUTS? Do you UNDERSTAND? Probably not. So I reiterated that Max has Autism, that loud noises are hard for him to handle and that it would be best for him to be sitting in the front seat.  Again he told me the bus driver would do his best to put him as close to the front as possible.  NOT good enough.

This morning Todd walked the three older boys to the bus stop, wearing his Air Force uniform, before going to work. There's nothing like using your uniform to command respect! LOL! When the bus got there he followed the boys onto the bus and said, "Sir, this is my son.  And he is going to sit in this seat (Max and Alex had already sat in the front seat) every day for the entire year." Thankfully, the bus driver, Charlie, is the same one that Alex had last year and he's really nice.  Charlie was more than happy to agree.

I have spent the last several weeks praying, and pleading with Heavenly Father to help Max with this transition.  Every little blessing is evidence to me that He listens and answers our prayers.  I feel at peace and KNOW that Max is going to have an awesome year!

Medicating...is it right for us?

One of the hardest decisions I have made is to medicate my child.  I fought it for several years while trying every natural supplement/remedy I could get my hands on.  One day, after many huge struggles at home and at school I was praying to know what I should do; how I could help my son and our family cope with ADHD in a way that was right for him.  The answer was hard for me to hear, and yet has helped him more than anything else I have done.

Alex is a good boy.  He wants to be good.  He wants to do what I ask him to do.  He wants to get good grades.  He wants people to like him and WANT to be around him. He wants the teachers to know how to communicate with him and he wants to know how to communicate with them.

In essence the answer I got was a question, "How much longer will you put him through this/allow him to struggle and suffer before you will try using medicine?"

Oh MAN do I hate it when I have been wrong.  I wanted desperately to help him in a natural way.  But guess what, sometimes that just does NOT work.

Almost immediately after starting medicine he began listening better, getting better grades, was able to follow multiple part instructions, and was more calm.  Seriously.  The grades jumped from D's to A's and B's.

I love doing natural things.  But there is GOOD in modern medicine.  I don't use it all.  But I use it when it's right for our family.

At the end of his 7th grade year we did not feel that the medicine was working for him. The teachers complained that it didn't seem like he had any medicine at all.  We finally let the medicine run out at the beginning of summer and have spent the summer watching him. The first few weeks we didn't even notice a difference.  After several more weeks we began to notice more.  He struggled EVEN more than he had been with following directions.  He struggled with being kind and with controlling his anger.  He obsessed about everything.  There were days that I wanted to crawl inside my closet and lock the door.  It was hard for all of us.

Here we are at the beginning of a new school year and I KNOW the teachers would NOT be able to handle what I have dealt with all summer. Not with a classroom full of students.

Yesterday we spent a lot of time talking with the doctor to determine what would be best for Alex.  This morning he started on his first dose of medicine.  Before it got into his system he was hitting his brother, yelling at his brother, obsessing about a toy, and could not focus on making his food.  I redirected him SO MANY TIMES. It was draining! Once we finally finished making his food and sat down to ate, the medicine kicked in, his breakfast kicked in and he has had the most wonderful day. He did his chores without being asked.  He asked what he could do do help.  He didn't complain once.  AWESOME!

He came to me and said, "I know I can't watch a show because everyone is still doing chores, and I can't play a video game.  What can I do?" The fact that he posed a question ALL ON HIS OWN without getting distracted or upset...AND it was logical, was a huge improvement.

I suggested that if he went and read his scriptures I would allow him to play on the DS.  He wasn't too excited about that so I said, "How about playing on my Kindle?" He liked that!  He went straight to his room, read his scriptures and then came to report.  AMAZING!

He got extra time to sit and play on my Kindle. AND my stress level is SO much lower.

The moral of this story is...don't push aside one idea because you have seen negative effects that it can have on others.  Open your heart and mind and allow inspiration to flow.  And if medicine is right for your child/family member then do it.  Don't procrastinate.  If it's wrong for you, find what works.

Be prayerful.  Talk to a loving Father in Heaven who knows you and loves you and wants you and your family to be happy.  He will guide you and help you in all aspects of your life.  And NEVER say never.  (You can read one of my previous posts on this topic here.)

Have a wonderful and peaceful day!