Sunday Bliss

Every time I finish reading a good book it runs continuously through my mind....for hours and then sometimes days. I love reading. I love writing. Both are things that help me de-stress and relax. I just finished reading The Maze Runner by James Dashner. It was amazing. It kept me wondering...what in the world was going to happen...how were they ever going to get out...when would they find out the truth...when would they be back with their families. Questions kept tumbling through my mind each time I would sit down to read. Slowly...carefully...the author reveals pieces of the truth...what's really going on. It was never dull...never boring...and very exciting. I can't wait for the next book to come out.

I love Sundays. They are a great day to just sit and relax. I don't allow myself much down time during the week. There is just too much to accomplish in not enough time. By the time my head hits the pillow at night I'm so tired that I can't sleep. Thoughts race through my head. Painting needs to be done. Packing needs to happen. Cleaning isn't happening like it should be. Stuff if everywhere. There's just not enough time in a day. And then when I should be sleeping and getting my strength back for the next day, I can't turn my brain off. Sometimes I wish there was a switch. Just flip it off....and fall asleep...with a clear mind.

Today emotions were on the surface. It started first thing this morning. I was probably just tired. Sleeping in a bedroom where everything is a wreck is less than peaceful. 3/4 of the wallpaper is off the walls now though. Tomorrow I get to finish the rest of it and start mudding the holes and sanding. Anyway, I was asked to speak in Sacrament Meeting for today. So, I had a talk prepared and I was also in charge of teaching Sharing Time to the Primary children. I spent a lot of time praying for guidance this week. I know I couldn't do it all myself. That's for sure.

We got to church on time and got the family in their seats and I headed up from to sit. I think the worst part of giving a talk in church is the waiting. Then I noticed that there were no tissues. GREAT! I am a blubbering ball of tears when I give a talk. I know that about myself...and I finally have accepted that fact! I can't change it, so why try. As I sat there, trying NOT to think about my talk, I realized that they pulled TJ up front to pass the sacrament...for his first time. Talk about getting a crash course. Learn by doing. As I pondered how scared I would be if I were thrown into that task without forewarning I realized that this was a blessing for him. I try to verbally prepare him for everything. What happens when life throws you a curve ball? There's no time for a pep talk from Mom. You just step up and do your duty, right. This is exactly what TJ needs. He needs to learn to be prepared. The older boys took him under their wing and guided him and helped him in his task. Yeah, he was nervous, but he did it...and he did a great job. So, as I watched my oldest son pass the sacrament I again was moved to tears. I furiously wiped at my face, trying to salvage the mess. But, I should have known, it was just going to get worse.

The youth speaker spoke...and it went by so quickly and then it was my turn. I got up and gave my prepared 12 minute talk. I love how the Spirit works. It guides us to say what needs to be said. I blubbered and sniffled and wiped...and there were no tissues to help me out. Believe me, I thought about lifting my sleeve and wiping, just to stop the dripping. How annoying. But I survived. After I sat down, it took forever for my hands to stop sweating, and my nose to stop dripping and my eyes to stop running. Once it stopped I calmed my feet and sat fairly still, my foot swaying back and forth. Can't stop moving!

Sharing time went off without a hitch. The children were engaged, they listened, they answered, they participated. It was wonderful. Again, it is awesome when the Spirit guides you...you can teach! I love it!

The only sad part of my day is when Alyssa gets hurt or cries...she no long wants me. I stopped nursing her when I had to get a tooth pulled just over a week ago. I couldn't take the pain and had to use the medication to help me get through. After a week without nursing she started getting angry with me. Instead of wanting me for comfort now, she wants Daddy and even TJ. It breaks my heart. It hurts and I wish I could go back to nursing her again. I hope it will eventually pass and that she will be able to find comfort in me once again. I can only hope.

Now, on to the rest of my restful day. I love having a day to just chill. The house is more quiet. The crazy stress of the weekdays is gone...for a moment or two. I'm going to go enjoy it now!

Moving

Well, for those of you who have not heard, we are moving. Todd got a new job in Jefferson City. A job he will absolutely love. A job that is still Military. A job that is giving him the opportunity to become an Officer. He is thrilled and so happy. Therefore, I am thrilled and very happy for us. He will be working with the Partnership Program with Panama. He has a very impressive title that I can't for the life of me remember! He is amazing. He took the AFOQT (Air Force Officer Qualifications Test) and passed the first time. It's a very hard test. Yeah Todd! He has appealed to MO Western State University and they approved his appeal and therefore will be graduating at the end of Spring semester. What a huge blessing.

We have begun packing like crazy, throwing things out and giving things away. Our living room has been repainted, and rearranged. I love it. Wish I had done it a long time ago. Our hallway is now painted. The garage is organized and has a ton of stacks of boxes. As Max said yesterday when he followed me into the garage, "Holy Boxes!" The stacks will only get bigger! We are going to remove the wallpaper in our bedroom and paint it this week along with Alyssa's room. So, if you don't see or hear much from me, that is why. I am crazy busy!

We are excited and sad all in one. We love St. Joe. We love the people. We love the ward here. It has become our home. I never thought I would be able to say that, but it did. Moving will be very hard for me, but I am very optimistic. I am looking forward to making new friends, having a new home to decorate my way, and to just experience what ever it is that Heavenly Father has in store for us.