Autism

I wake up each morning not knowing what the day will bring. Of course, so does every other person on the planet! Max had a couple of really hard days on Monday and Tuesday this week. He had been sick with a fever for 5 days and was finally feeling better, but was having a hard time just dealing with disappointments in his day. I was supposed to get him to do some school work before Wednesday, but it didn't happen. He ended up on his bed screaming, Tuesday, until he cried himself to sleep. That was better than allowing him to hit me. So, Wednesday morning I woke up wondering how he would be that day. I went to his bed, sat on the edge and rubbed his back while talking softly to him. I told him it was time to get up. He said, "I hate school. I'm not going." This is normal for him. He will say it all morning and my reply is always, "I know". I told him I was making his toast and he needed to get up and come eat it. I carefully used a soft sing-song voice each time I spoke. When the toast was done, he was still not at the table so I called to him again and let him know it was on the table. He emerged wrapped in his fleece Tigger blanket from head to to. No part of his face was showing. He walked to his chair and sat down. He said he couldn't eat. So, I sat next to him, unwrapped his head and started feeding him one bite at a time. Now some of you might ask, "Why in the world is she feeding a 7 year old?" And my answer would be, "That is what he needed at that moment." I got him talking, smiling, giggling. He told me he likes to snuggle with me at night. So, I promised that I would snuggle with him that night. I offered a reward; 15 minutes on the Wii after school, if he finished his breakfast. He took about 45 minutes to finish his food. He earned his 15 minutes. Next I coaxed him to eat his vitamins and g3 juice. I encouraged him and told him what a great job he was doing. I kept hoping and praying that his mood would continue to lift and that he would get ready for school without too much trouble. Finally he was done with that part of the morning. Then I offered more time on the Wii if he would go take off his pull-up and get dressed. He went and did it! I congratulated him on earning 30 minutes to play! We continued. He needed his socks, shoes, coat and mittens. He accomplished those tasks. I praised him some more. Then I reminded him to find a small toy to put in his pocket for school. The rest of the morning went smoothly and I felt relieved. He got on the bus and was off.

Days will go by and Max doesn't exhibit a lot of the symptoms of Autism, but then there will be days filled with fit throwing, screaming, hitting, kicking, slamming doors, and what ever else he can think of to express his frustrations.

After that morning I breathed a sigh of relief and prayed his day at school would go okay. Then I sat and nursed my sweet beautiful girl and thanked my Father in Heaven for her and her sweet little spirit. Colin sat at the kitchen table with his back to the sliding glass door eating his manderin oranges. I could see him from my chair in the living room. He thought I wasn't watching him! The sun was shining in on his back and cast a bright spot on the wall. He must have noticed his shadow on the wall because he started raising his arm straight above his head. He was staring at the shadow with quiet fascination. His hand was in a fist. He turned his arm slowing and continued to watch the shadow. Next he opened his hand with his fingers spread wide. At one angle you couldn't see the fingers in the shadow, and as he turned it slowly the fingers came into view. It was so sweet to watch him discover and play with his shadow. Then he slowly put his arm down and continued eating his oranges. He looked up and saw me smiling at him and got this crooked smile on his face and asked, "What?" I just giggled and told him he was silly!

Looking back on yesterday morning I realize how awesome my two big kids are. TJ and Alex were there, getting ready without my prodding them and they did what they needed to. They must have known that I needed everything I had just to take care of Max that morning. I am so thankful for them. Heavenly Father truly blesses us even in our times of trial. I am so thankful for my Father in Heaven and for his love for me.

When Max came home I read the note from the teacher I receive each day and it said he had a awesome day! He hates writing time and the teacher said he did great with his writing. I awarded him more minutes on the Wii. Max was in heaven!!

Last night, after a crazy day, we had the missionaries over to teach a young man who is dating a young woman in the ward. They asked me to be prepared to teach about Tithing. Okay. I never served a mission. I have been a member all my life, but I have never taught a discussion. I have only borne my testimony when I felt it was appropriate during a discussion. So, feelings of inadequacy surfaced even as I prepared. The section in Preach My Gospel about tithing was tiny. So, I kept a prayer in my heart. But I was still nervous. When Elder Itsep called on me he said I would be talking about the Sabbath Day. My first reaction was, "That's not what you had me prepare!" And I thought I was nervous before! AAGH! They must have thought my reaction was quite funny. Todd explained, in Spanish, that I prepared a little about tithing. I don't know why I get so nervous except that I don't want to screw it up. It needs to be just right. (A little OCD I know, but I can't seem to help it!) So, I gave my prepared part. I was sweating profusely! The back of my knees were wet and my face felt like it was visibly dripping with sweat. It was awful! It seemed to go well and everyone added to it and we moved on. I finally cooled off and was fine. After they left I asked Todd how I did. He said I did great. AAH! Relief. He said that I made it personal and because I spoke directly to him and didn't preach to him it went really well. Well, maybe I just need a little more practice so I don't get so nervous.

Yes, I kept my promise to Max. I snuggled with him for a few minutes.

So, by the end of the evening I had a headache. I took something for it, had Todd rub my head and went to bed. Alyssa slept all night. YES! But I woke with a migraine. UGH! I think I would take the lack of sleep over a migraine!

So, this morning Max did a little better. He was a little aggressive, but soon calmed down and ate on his own. I still gave him rewards but I didn't have to sit with him for every step. Though I didn't handle him as well as when I am headache free, we still ended up with a decent morning.

I just got off the phone with Max's teacher, Mrs. Hall. He struggles with a desire to get his work done on many occasions. He had a reading test today and to help him do it they told him he could call me on the phone after it was done to tell me how well he did. So, of course, he did awesome! He was read a story and had to retell in his own words 3 things that happened and he did great! I am so proud of him. So, he gets on the phone and I congratulated him and he said, " Do I get more minutes?" AAH! What a cutie! I asked, "Do you want more Wii minutes for doing good on the test?" He said "ya". "Okay. You can have 10 more minutes on the Wii. You keep doing a good job at school, okay. I love you!" We said goodbye and Mrs. Hall thanked me for taking the time to talk to Max. My first thought was, why wouldn't I take the time to talk to my child on the phone? So, he had it in his mind that if he did well I would reward him with time on the Wii. Such a smart kid. Tears roll down my face as I think of how far he has come and what an awesome kid he is. I feel so blessed.

So, I feel like I can move on with my day. My headache is almost gone. A great blessing! And now I think I can get in my workout and move forward. I think of all of you who might read this and wish a great day for each of you.