Never Say Never!!!

I have learned over the last few years that it is not a good thing to say I will Never do something because inevitably I end up doing it. Then I chuckle to myself...lesson learned...and do the thing I said I would never do. I'll give some examples. I have a wonderful friend who bought a house and it was a split level with the two car garage as part of the basement and in the back yard sat an above ground pool.

#1 - I said I would never buy a house where the garage was a part of the basement because it takes out a lot of storage space. Good point...but the house we currently own is almost exactly the same setup as my friend's home.

Never say never!

#2 - I said I would never buy a house with a pool in the backyard because it would be too much work. Yup...it is a lot of work...but our kids love our pool!

Never say never!

There is a Tim McGraw song that says Never say Never and I completely identify with it!

Next item up for examination...I have another dear sweet friend who nursed her babies for a much longer time than I ever have. Her youngest was nine months old and she couldn't leave him with anyone because he would cry so much. I've told her this before...so this is not news to her! I said I would never have a child who was so attached to me that I couldn't leave them with anyone. LOL!

#3 - I had my little girl about 15 months ago. I chose not to immunize her and one of the doctor's recommendations was that I should nurse her until she was 2 years old. She is now 15 months old and is still nursing, but the best part of all is that I can't leave her with much of anyone without her screaming. It's terrible. She isn't even comforted by Todd, much of the time. And this friend of mine just laughs at me.

Never say Never!

Why do we make such rash judgments? I see how is it so silly and yet I will do it so quickly. For one...it is being judgmental of others and the choices they are making and then for another it is unkind. So I am trying really hard to remember not to say those words..."I'm never going to do that".

One of the hardest decisions I have had to make came recently. I have fought it. I have talked several times about how I would NEVER do it. And here I am again. Doing what I said I wouldn't. I have felt very hypocritical. I still feel badly about having to make this decision, but I know that it is right.

We have a son, Alex, who has ADHD. We have tried every remedy that I could find. Every supplement that I could afford. Even the gluten free/casein free diet was tried for six months. Each of these items would work for a time and then stop working. Alex has a really low self esteem. He will tell you he doesn't think he can do things. He doesn't think that he is very smart at all. He thinks he can't read very well. He doesn't have very many friends at school. This year is the first year that his grades have been really sliding. In the past he had A's, B's and a few C's. I figured that was pretty good considering that he was struggling. That's average. So, I continued trying the natural remedies.

This school year, however, he started out doing a fantastic job at school and gradually everything has begun slipping. He was almost kicked off the bus for bothering other children relentlessly. The Principal and I worked together and he was able to bring his MP3 player on the bus so that he would leave the other kids alone. Thankfully that worked really well. He is being sent out of the classroom to do his work because he gets distracted so easily. He wasn't finishing his work because he couldn't concentrate. His grade card showed one F, a couple of D's, a couple of C's and an A and a B. That F just blared at me. It was fluorescent. I felt so bad for my Alex.

I just so happened that not too long after that we ran into a Sister from church in the store and some how we got on the topic of ADHD. She has triplets and they each have a different form of ADHD. After a lot of work trying to help them she put them onto a medication that has worked wonders.

As she told me her story about her son who asks for his meds because he knows how much better he does when he takes them, I cried. The Spirit spoke to me. I knew that I needed to pray about what to do to help Alex. So, I spent a lot of time praying. I will not just jump into something like that without first knowing it is right. So, after much prayer and pondering a thought came to me that just blew me over. "How long will you let Alex suffer while you continue trying to find the right natural remedy?" At least it was something to that effect! Right then and there I knew what I needed to do. I didn't want to do it, but I knew. I put it off. I waited. I felt like a hypocrite. I wanted to help Alex. I just couldn't watch my child suffer through life anymore. So, finally I called the Doctor. I was nervous to even go talk to him. I love this Doctor, and I don't say that loosely. I do not like very many Doctors but Heavenly Father blessed me to be able to find this one. He is great. He is supportive of the natural and is a wealth of knowledge about the natural. I prayed for help as I talked to him. I explained why I felt we needed to try something (all the while holding tears back) and this wonderful man just nodded in acknowledgment.

He took a moment to talk to Alex and explain what we were talking about. He put it into words that Alex could understand. It was fantastic. He told Alex that there is nothing wrong with him but that there is something very right with him. He explained that Alex's brain goes so quickly that when the teacher and students are talking it's like they are talking r e a l l y s l o w l y. After a few minutes of listening to the doctor talk really slowly (to give me an example) I was frustrated. He said that's what it is like for Alex. So we need slow his brain down a little bit so that he can catch what everyone is saying without getting frustrated. The Doctor told him that he is a very smart boy and that by the time Alex is an adult he will probably be smarter than the Doctor. He also said that most of the really neat inventions that are created come from people with ADHD. They are really intelligent people with a lot of creativity.

So, after some advice from the Doctor I went home feeling a lot less like a heel. Friday morning we tried the medication for the first time. I wrote a letter to school informing them and letting them know that I need to know if they see any adverse side effects.

Alex came home and I asked him how his day went. He sent it went "Amazing"! He finished up a pile of work that he had been unable to finish before because he was so distracted. He also was not sent out of the room to work. He was able to stay in his class. That alone is worth it. I don't care what people say. I know there are many who will disagree with the decision that we have made, but I KNOW with all my heart and soul that I did what I needed to for Alex....NOT for me. That is all that matters. Heavenly Father is the ONLY one who knows what will help Alex the best. Not me. So, I went to Him for help. So many times the answers I get are not what I want to hear, but they are always what will be best.

I am thankful for a loving Heavenly Father who is patient with me as I stumble through life. I am grateful for family and good friends who are supportive especially when we have to make hard choices.