Dear Friends

A dear friend's blog post really made me think. I spend far too much time in my house, cleaning and cooking or taking care of children or reading or whatever. When do I get out and spend time with my dear friends? I have been blessed with many friends at Church. They are my family away from family. Lately I feel like I have lost touch with a lot of them. I stay at home far too much....too busy to do anything else. There is always something that just can't wait until later....but couldn't it?

We don't know each other as well as we should. I think about the beginning of the Church and how the sisters did everything together. They gardened together, they taught each other, they sewed together, they raised children together...They relied on one another far more than we do now. But I think they knew something that sometimes we forget. We need each other. We need to spend time with one another. Every time I allow myself to get out and enjoy the company of other good women I come home feeling better....lifted up....my burdens lighter.

The Savior can't be here, in person, to listen but he can send a dear friend in His place with a listening ear. He can't help take care of our children, but can create a wonderful friend with whom you feel safe leaving your children. He usually lifts our hearts by sending us a treasured friend.

Are we taking the time to sincerely get to know others? To create lasting friendships? Do we ask questions in conversation just for conversations sake or do we truly care? I try to care. I want to know what is going on in the lives of others so that I might be able to be of help in some way. If I can bring comfort I want to be able to. And then when I need it, they will be there for me. But if I don't get to know these women they won't feel comfortable sharing their lives with me. If we don't ask questions sincerely and get to know others, then we will never be able to reach out when someone needs us...in answer to a prayer, whether spoken or just felt.

I truly believe that we can be an answer to someone's prayer.

Let's start fresh

It's a new day, new week and I am ready! I am going to do better today listening to my children. I am going to get more laundry folded and put away. I am going to say kind things to my family and think before I speak.

I am not always very patient with my family. I wish I were more so, but I'm not. Having OCD can be very difficult at times, because I expect too much from others. My expectations have decreased dramatically since having children though. I just know that there are not enough hours in a day to complete everything that I want to have complete. My house can not be perfect all the time. And right now...it rarely is perfect! Having five kids just does that to a person! I have to not worry about it!

I have done a lot of looking withing myself this last week. Pondering. Trying to figure out how to improve our home. What I realized, silly me, is that it all starts with me. They all take cues from Mom. Even Dad takes cues from Mom. If I am tired and grouchy, guess what...they are grouchy. If I am relaxed and just chillin' out...they are too. For the most part anyway.

So, after a rough morning getting the kids ready for school, I decided that it is all mental and I NEED to change the way I look at things. I need to be more positive, more patient. I need to look for the happiness around me. I need to point out all the good things my kids do and say. So, I am going to begin today. I am going to do better. Be a better person and try to teach my kids to be better people too.

Okay...here goes....

Tender Mercies

Okay, so we all can find our Tender Mercies if we look. Yesterday after having a migraine all day and taking care of a very fussy little lady, I handed her to Todd and headed to the hall bathroom to get something accomplished. I started patching up the holes in the walls and sprayed the ugly border down with some vinegar. I thought, maybe this border will come off...I'll at least try. So, I was sanding, and mudding and spraying up a storm. And then the borders peeled off rather quickly. Not only that, but once I got them removed I was able to scrape the glue of the wall too. YES! The wall is all smooth! Hooray! My spirits lifted and I finished the job and went to make supper.

It's amazing how just that once small thing can make you feel so much better. Once of the Lord's Tender Mercies. I don't think I could have taken anymore frustration yesterday and He knew it. For that I am thankful!

The gift of sight

I am thankful today for the gift of sight. We went to pick up Max's new glasses tonight and on the way home the sunset was beautiful. Scattered clouds, some in wisps, some in clumps. Blues, pinks, oranges and purples. Golden glows across the tree tops. What a pretty sight! I am grateful to my Father in Heaven for blessing me with these tiny gifts that bring joy. Just being able to get out of the house after sitting with a sick baby for two days was a blessing...and then I got to see this wonderful sight and share it with two of my boys.

Snuggle time

Oh the sweet, sweet joy of holding a baby. I just love when my little ones climb onto my lap and lay their heads on my shoulder and snuggle in. It is healing, it is uplifting, it makes me happy. They get all warm and cozy and your spirit speaks to theirs as you snuggle in close.

I wish the snuggles came more often than they do. I will take them when they come, and soak them up while I can! My babies have not been big snugglers, so it is truly a gift when they choose to find comfort in just being in my arms.

Today my little Ladybug is sick. She is snuggling and warm. She has red, rosy cheeks from laying on me. It makes me sad to see my babies feel sick, but I haven't minded that she just wants me to sit and hold her. So, HGTV here I come! I got to hold and snuggle my sweet little girl while I indulged on one of my secret addictions! Okay, it's not so secret, but it truly would be an addiction if I allowed it to be. I love to watch all of the redesign ideas. It makes my gears turn round and round!!

So, even though the reason Lyssa is snuggling is due to feeling quite yucky, I still have enjoyed the blissful moments of snuggle time when our spirits have bonded. It truly is a gift. Have you had your snuggle time lately?

I feel the Spring Fever coming on!

I know the snow is still covering the ground. The temperatures is still low and it doesn't feel like spring quite yet, but I am itching to start my spring cleaning. I could be because of all this talk of possibly having to move to a new house and needing to get this house ready to sell. I see cobwebs everywhere, and fingerprints smeared on the walls, toy marks on the floors and muddy doggy prints on the linoleum. It doesn't help that I have been sick and couldn't do much of anything for 2 full days. That makes me want to go nuts! I am finally feeling a bit better and I just want to be 100% so that I can get out and do things and clean my house and.....

You name it...there are a thousand things I could be doing. I tried out a new recipe tonight too. I love to bake and I have refrained because I have been doing Weight Watchers and didn't want to screw up my success. But...alas...the muffin tins are calling to me....

So, Todd applied for a new job. A job that he would absolutely LOVE. A job that would require him to use his Spanish speaking abilities frequently. A job that could potentially mean better pay. A job that would mean that we have to move away from our wonderful beloved home, and friends in Saint Joseph, MO and move to an area near Jefferson City, MO.

Sniffle....sniffle...

Okay...I've done my crying for now. It makes me sad, but I can't stand seeing the sad countenance of my wonderful husband when he comes home from a job he doesn't enjoy. He goes each day because he knows that he needs to. He goes because it is his responsibility. He is wonderful. He comes home and tries so hard to keep his job at work, but when I can see it in his face...he is sad at work...it makes me want to cry. I want to see my husband happy at work again.

I asked him to pray about what to do and I left it in his hands and told him when he decided, then he could bring it to me and we could pray together.

Do I want to move...heavens no. But if the Lord wants us to move then He will make it happen. He will provide the way for us to do this. As Nephi said, "I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them." (1 Nephi 3:7)

If we are meant to move, then the Lord will provide the way and everything will fall neatly into place. I have seen it happen so many time. I have great faith that it will happen again if we are meant to go.

I also have faith that He will help ease the sadness that will come from leaving my wonderful friends. He eased my sadness when I had to leave my family behind in Maine. He will do it again.

I am so thankful to be so blessed. I am thankful for a wonderful Husband, for loving parents who taught me the gospel, for extended family who love and support us, for 5 awesome children who constantly teach me to be a better person, and for the most wonderful friends who love me for who I am; who accept me and forgive me of my faults; who are always there for me. I am truly blessed.

Before we know it the snow will be melted away, new grass will begin to sprout, the birds will again fill the trees, new life will emerge, and warm weather will appear. And then......it will get really really really HOT!!!

Enjoy each day. Find joy in each moment. For we are all blessed!

Never Say Never!!!

I have learned over the last few years that it is not a good thing to say I will Never do something because inevitably I end up doing it. Then I chuckle to myself...lesson learned...and do the thing I said I would never do. I'll give some examples. I have a wonderful friend who bought a house and it was a split level with the two car garage as part of the basement and in the back yard sat an above ground pool.

#1 - I said I would never buy a house where the garage was a part of the basement because it takes out a lot of storage space. Good point...but the house we currently own is almost exactly the same setup as my friend's home.

Never say never!

#2 - I said I would never buy a house with a pool in the backyard because it would be too much work. Yup...it is a lot of work...but our kids love our pool!

Never say never!

There is a Tim McGraw song that says Never say Never and I completely identify with it!

Next item up for examination...I have another dear sweet friend who nursed her babies for a much longer time than I ever have. Her youngest was nine months old and she couldn't leave him with anyone because he would cry so much. I've told her this before...so this is not news to her! I said I would never have a child who was so attached to me that I couldn't leave them with anyone. LOL!

#3 - I had my little girl about 15 months ago. I chose not to immunize her and one of the doctor's recommendations was that I should nurse her until she was 2 years old. She is now 15 months old and is still nursing, but the best part of all is that I can't leave her with much of anyone without her screaming. It's terrible. She isn't even comforted by Todd, much of the time. And this friend of mine just laughs at me.

Never say Never!

Why do we make such rash judgments? I see how is it so silly and yet I will do it so quickly. For one...it is being judgmental of others and the choices they are making and then for another it is unkind. So I am trying really hard to remember not to say those words..."I'm never going to do that".

One of the hardest decisions I have had to make came recently. I have fought it. I have talked several times about how I would NEVER do it. And here I am again. Doing what I said I wouldn't. I have felt very hypocritical. I still feel badly about having to make this decision, but I know that it is right.

We have a son, Alex, who has ADHD. We have tried every remedy that I could find. Every supplement that I could afford. Even the gluten free/casein free diet was tried for six months. Each of these items would work for a time and then stop working. Alex has a really low self esteem. He will tell you he doesn't think he can do things. He doesn't think that he is very smart at all. He thinks he can't read very well. He doesn't have very many friends at school. This year is the first year that his grades have been really sliding. In the past he had A's, B's and a few C's. I figured that was pretty good considering that he was struggling. That's average. So, I continued trying the natural remedies.

This school year, however, he started out doing a fantastic job at school and gradually everything has begun slipping. He was almost kicked off the bus for bothering other children relentlessly. The Principal and I worked together and he was able to bring his MP3 player on the bus so that he would leave the other kids alone. Thankfully that worked really well. He is being sent out of the classroom to do his work because he gets distracted so easily. He wasn't finishing his work because he couldn't concentrate. His grade card showed one F, a couple of D's, a couple of C's and an A and a B. That F just blared at me. It was fluorescent. I felt so bad for my Alex.

I just so happened that not too long after that we ran into a Sister from church in the store and some how we got on the topic of ADHD. She has triplets and they each have a different form of ADHD. After a lot of work trying to help them she put them onto a medication that has worked wonders.

As she told me her story about her son who asks for his meds because he knows how much better he does when he takes them, I cried. The Spirit spoke to me. I knew that I needed to pray about what to do to help Alex. So, I spent a lot of time praying. I will not just jump into something like that without first knowing it is right. So, after much prayer and pondering a thought came to me that just blew me over. "How long will you let Alex suffer while you continue trying to find the right natural remedy?" At least it was something to that effect! Right then and there I knew what I needed to do. I didn't want to do it, but I knew. I put it off. I waited. I felt like a hypocrite. I wanted to help Alex. I just couldn't watch my child suffer through life anymore. So, finally I called the Doctor. I was nervous to even go talk to him. I love this Doctor, and I don't say that loosely. I do not like very many Doctors but Heavenly Father blessed me to be able to find this one. He is great. He is supportive of the natural and is a wealth of knowledge about the natural. I prayed for help as I talked to him. I explained why I felt we needed to try something (all the while holding tears back) and this wonderful man just nodded in acknowledgment.

He took a moment to talk to Alex and explain what we were talking about. He put it into words that Alex could understand. It was fantastic. He told Alex that there is nothing wrong with him but that there is something very right with him. He explained that Alex's brain goes so quickly that when the teacher and students are talking it's like they are talking r e a l l y s l o w l y. After a few minutes of listening to the doctor talk really slowly (to give me an example) I was frustrated. He said that's what it is like for Alex. So we need slow his brain down a little bit so that he can catch what everyone is saying without getting frustrated. The Doctor told him that he is a very smart boy and that by the time Alex is an adult he will probably be smarter than the Doctor. He also said that most of the really neat inventions that are created come from people with ADHD. They are really intelligent people with a lot of creativity.

So, after some advice from the Doctor I went home feeling a lot less like a heel. Friday morning we tried the medication for the first time. I wrote a letter to school informing them and letting them know that I need to know if they see any adverse side effects.

Alex came home and I asked him how his day went. He sent it went "Amazing"! He finished up a pile of work that he had been unable to finish before because he was so distracted. He also was not sent out of the room to work. He was able to stay in his class. That alone is worth it. I don't care what people say. I know there are many who will disagree with the decision that we have made, but I KNOW with all my heart and soul that I did what I needed to for Alex....NOT for me. That is all that matters. Heavenly Father is the ONLY one who knows what will help Alex the best. Not me. So, I went to Him for help. So many times the answers I get are not what I want to hear, but they are always what will be best.

I am thankful for a loving Heavenly Father who is patient with me as I stumble through life. I am grateful for family and good friends who are supportive especially when we have to make hard choices.