On a roll

Okay, so this week I finally have some energy and I feel like I am on a roll. But don't knock on my door with out calling first because I am still in my pajamas.

BUT...the laundry is all caught up. The dishes are almost done. The kitchen/dining room floors got mopped. The bathrooms are pretty clean. The floors got vacuumed. Whew! It feels good!

In 9 days we head out to Maine! I want the house to be clean for when we come home. I strongly despise coming home to a dirty house.

Oh...funny thing. I totally clogged my kitchen sink tonight:)! I don't know how many times I apologized to Todd for it. I was cleaning out the fridge, you know still being on a roll and all, and I dumped the old nasty food into the sink. Well, it kind of jammed up the trap. OOOOPS! Todd tried the plunger trick...but it was too plugged. LOL! So, he had to unscrew the pipes and let it all out into a bucket. Then He made a mess and sprayed a lot of the contents under the sink with yucky dirty ricey water. (There was a lot of rice in there :() EEWW! So, he finished fixing my mess and I cleaned up after him. Good trade off right? I have such a wonderful husband! I think he was really glad I was finally cleaning out the fridge! It was full when Juli came out. It needed to be cleaned out a while ago. And since I was on a roll I finally got that accomplished! So, that is one more thing that will be clean when I come home from our visit to Maine.

Today I went from dresser to dresser (or as we say in Maine, bureau. I had friends growing up who would pronounce it "breero" hehehe! If you know me you know that I have issues with words being pronounced incorrectly. :)Todd got me to change to using the word dresser. It doesn't get messed up as much!). I unfolded each article of clothing and checked the sizes. I took out ALL outgrown clothing. Then I moved items from TJ's dresser to Alex's, to Max's and then to Colin's. I now have about 5 boxes in the hallway, full of clothing to be donated! LOVE CLEANING OUT!

Now I can go sit on my couch and read! LOVE reading! I am trying to be good. I read in the evening while everyone is watching TV or is otherwise occupied!

Feelin' good!

Making a change

Making a change, whether in attitude, food choices, in schedule, you name it, it can be hard to do. When we first put Max on the gluten free/casein free diet when he was 3 1/2 was so hard. I couldn't sleep. Thoughts of what I could and couldn't feed him rolled through my mind when I closed my eyes. I thought I would never get to a point where I felt comfortable with it. But somewhere between now then I got used to it. It has been 4 years now.

A few months ago we decided, per Doctor suggestion, to put Alex on the same diet. I hoped it would make a difference, but as we look at the last few months we don't see a change. The change really came when we put him on a new remedy. It is helping him a lot. That is when we realized that the diet didn't help.

Yesterday was my first day putting Alex back on regular food. But there is a catch. It needs to be foods without artificial colors, flavors, additives and other unnecessary chemicals. I am not as familiar with those foods, so I have some research to do. I know pretty much what to look for but I need to locate the items that are "safe".

Wish me luck!

Summer should be a blast!

In the Spring I start dreaming of Summer and all the fun we can have. I dream of sleeping in late. I dream of giggling children running around outside. I dream of a clean house. Then my day dream comes to a screeching halt!!!

I think...that NEVER happens!!!

Here is the reality of Summer in our home...
Sleep in until 8:00 only because the children went to bed between 9pm and 10pm.
The kids are so tired of playing with each other that they fight all the time.
The house is a wreck. Food all over the dining room/kitchen floor. Dishes piled in the sink and on both counters. Wet towels and swimming suits all over the place even though I constantly remind them to hang them. Tattling...oh the tattling.....and even more tattling.

Ok...it might not be that bad all the time, but it is hard for me during the summer. I want desperately to take them to do fun things and the whole time is spent having to remind them to behave.

Plus, yesterday I was reminded how a lack of routine greatly effects children with Autism. Sacrament meeting alone is hard anyway. On the way to church, running about 5 minutes behind but not late, I realized that Todd had told me that a bridge would be out at the exit we always take and that I should take the exit before that one. Well...I forgot. So, here I am at the exit, frustrated. I flew up to the next exit and turned around and headed back to the church. We got there just before the meeting started.

Since the addition of miss Ladybug we have started sitting in one of the middle pews in the back. This way we don't disturb as many people when we get up to take a child out. Plus, I hate to be the center of attention. So, we get there late and there are no seats except one about 3 rows from the front. I groaned inwardly and marched my train of children to the front of the chapel to sit down. They all had a brand new mechanical ("clicky") pencil in hand with their name on it along with a new notebook to color in. I felt pretty prepared. TJ sat quietly coloring. He loves to draw and can draw a really detailed dragon. It's pretty cool. Alex, for a change, was sitting nicely drawing. Since the new remedies we started he is doing better and better. Ladybug had fallen asleep just before we left the house but woke as soon as I tried to put her into her car seat. Now she was wide awake but happy. Max and Colin, on the other hand, were poking...nudging...giggling...talking loudly...you name it. I tried to quiet them numerous times. The problem is that Colin likes to tease. He will tease and Max doesn't deal well with that. So, I tried to bribe them with the idea of getting a treat when we got home when they sat quietly and colored.

I finally had to remove Max, dragging him from the pew while holding Ladybug, all the way through the chapel and out to the hallway. These are the times I quietly wish someone would come to my rescue. But it isn't their job.

I put Max on a seat in an empty classroom, with the door wide open, in time-out, while I walked in the hall...back and forth in front of the door. Once he was finally calm enough to go back we went in to sit down. Again we walked to the front. Yuck.

After sitting for a few minutes I finally moved Max over next to TJ. Why I didn't do that in the first place is beyond me. About 20 minutes before the meeting ended my little Ladybug started fussing and I had to leave the boys to go to the Mother's Lounge. Luckily, one of our youth, Tyler came to sit with the boys for me.

Max had gotten into a great routine with Church and was sitting well for so long. Then summer came. We don't have as strict a routine at home as they do at school. So, each day it gets worse and worse. The shrieking, hitting, throwing toys, slamming doors...all due to the lack of routine and too much stimulation.

So, after a hard day at church I decided that the TV is staying off...for the most part. I must confess...I use the TV as a crutch. When things get overwhelming at home I sit the kids in front of the TV. That isn't the best thing for me to do...and I realize that, but I got myself into the habit when I was pregnant and now I have to get out of it.

So, I am hoping that through the next few weeks of summer I can help my kids have fun. If the house is going to be a wreck I might as well just leave it and go do something with the kids...like sliding down the stairs in sleeping bags! Thanks Becca for that idea! The kids love it!

I am committing myself to do better today. I am going to handle my children better. I am going to leave the TV off. Have the kids do their chores, which I have not enforced because I thought it would be nice if I let them enjoy more summer. I will read my scriptures...say my prayers... and just try to do better. I know I can't do it without the help of the Lord.

I look forward to going to Maine! Less than two weeks now to go!!!

The new wave!

I just caught that new wave and I am trying to stay on it!!! We started doing cloth diapers not too long ago and then when Todd didn't like it he finally put his foot down. I can still hear that foot hit the floor!

He doesn't very often have an opinion about what I do. But this time he does. So, we went back to disposables. That lasted for about a week. Our little Ladybug got a rash so bad it started to blister. So I pleaded with Todd to let me put cloth on her that night. He was okay with it because I always change the morning diaper. Miraculously her bottom was better by morning. So...needless to say... the cloth diapers are staying! I was using a good diaper rash ointment too, and I was putting it on many times a day while she was in disposables. Now, her bottom is clear and healthy. Todd just couldn't argue with that.

I am taking steps to make this as painless as possible for my Mr. Convenience! He is so great! I think once he gets use to the change he will be just fine! And it will save us lots of money in the long run. Yeah!

He even made me a drying rack that looks more like a coat tree, but I wanted it for towels, swim suits and diapers. He used almost all materials that we had in the garage. The only thing he purchased was a wooden dowel. We had a 4x4 post in the back yard that was just there...for no apparent reason. So, he cut it off, made a nice solid wooden base and drilled holes up each side for the dowels to fit into. It's pretty cool! He is so handy! He wasn't when we first me though! His handy skills have been learned since marriage.

So, I caught this new wave and it save my Ladybug's bottom!!! Have a great Sunday!

What's hidden in there?

I was reading a blog of a dear friend in Kansas City when I was hit with the urge to write my own thoughts and feelings about food; junk food in particular. It is so hard in this day and age to keep my children and family away from junk food. As one of my friends affectionately calls it, "No No Bad"! It never mattered to me much what was in a lollipop, cookie, brownie, or piece of gum. When it was offered, we all gladly, and excitedly accepted. After hours of research and hours of discussion with knowledgeable friends, Chiropractors, and others I finally decided that we needed a lifestyle change.

Gone are the days when I have a cupboard stocked with Dum Dum lollipops waiting to be handed out as a reward. Gone are the Little Debbie delights that we enjoyed. Gone are a lot of chemicals, additives, food coloring, artificial ingredients and flavorings and many other items that are almost always in prepacked food. We are not 100% perfect at this style of eating. We still struggle with some aspects of it, but for the most part we have changed.

I never used to cringe when friend would offer my children a piece of candy, but now I wish I could help them understand how bad it is for them. I wish I could help them to see what it can do to a child over time. Unfortunately I have found that most people do not want to hear it. Most people haven't had a wake-up call about their dietary habits. I get a lot of crazy looks from people when I decline a treat. Do I have something in my teeth, I wonder? No, I am just one of the many who are trying to make a lifestyle change.

Our society makes that so hard!

I have two children who are currently on a special diet. I spend a lot of time and money to make sure that they stay away from the foods that might cause them harm or cause them discomfort or illness. But how can you say no to those pleading little eyes? When I do say no, in public, it results in a lot of crying, whining and fit throwing. I try to avoid that at all costs.

I hate confrontation or to rock the boat. I think I had better get used to it now, though so that I can stand up for my children.

I can make homemade chocolate chip cookies for a treat and they are thrilled. Then I know what is in them. I can control that. But when they get candy or another treat that does not have those special ingredients to ensure their well-being, they get hyper crazy. They bounce off the walls. They can't concentrate. So, what is it doing to their little bodies? It is wreaking havoc in there. Some people think it is humorous, but I just can't find the humor.


Have you tasted a Little Debbie snack lately? They taste like shortening. Yuck. And I used to eat them all the time. Now, they make me feel sick.

I guess the moral to my story is...we should all be more understanding of each other and the choices we make. We shouldn't judge someone for their choices. We all have to make our own choices. I know I am thinking of a more perfect world, but I can always hope!!

Life Changes!

There have been moments in my life when I felt strongly that change was a horrible thing. I didn’t like to see it coming…and when it hit without warning I was pretty devastated. I have learned over the years, that change is good. It brings about growth, both spiritual and temporal.

When I was younger my parents owned an ice cream shop. It was awesome. I was privileged enough to work at the shop. We carried some of the highest quality ice cream around. It was some awesome creamy goodness! That is how I became an Ice Cream “snob”! But then one day we had to close up shop for good. It was hard. We hadn’t owned the shop for long, but had become attached to it in many ways. The hardest part was losing the house that we grew up in.

At first our home was just a basement, with no home on top. It was a work in progress. When it rained the ceiling would leak in numerous places and we would have to put buckets underneath the drips. I remember once it was so bad that there was quite a bit of water all over the concrete floor. We had a blast running and sliding through the water…until we fell and hurt our bottoms! We may not have had a lot but we made do with what we had. It was a home. A home where our Mom kept it clean and tidy; a home where the gospel of Jesus Christ was taught; a home where love was shone one to another.

I don’t remember when, but we started building the house on top of the basement. My Dad, whom I followed around where ever he went, would go into the woods, cut down trees, strip their bark and haul them, on his shoulders, out of the woods. I remember pulling the bark from the fallen trees. Sometimes the brown bark would easily peel right off from the smooth wooden surface and other times it would take a lot of tugging to get it loose. It was hard to get the bark to come off around a knot in the tree or a spot where a limb had been.

I remember the logs being taken to a mill where two opposite sides where cut to make them flat surfaces. Then they were stacked on top of each other with a piece of insulation in between. Men from church came out and helped put the walls together. Once a log was stacked they would drive long spikes into them to hold them in place. I remember men straddling the partially built walls with hammers in their hands just swinging away.

First the main floor was built and completed and the rest remained unfinished on the inside. Over the years, little by little, the second floor was finished. Even though the look of the home had changed, the family inside was still doing the same things. We continued to learn about our Father in Heaven and our Savior Jesus Christ. I still followed my Dad around where ever he went. One of my favorite things to do with my Dad was walk in the woods. He taught me names of flowers, the different animals, how to take a good picture, and just how to enjoy my surrounding. I loved helping him mow that huge lawn. He would mow a large square and then hand the lawn mower over to me and I mowed the inside of the square. It was fun to watch that huge lawn gradually look short and tidy.

One of my fondest memories was going as a family into the woods to find the perfect Christmas tree. We were looking for the best one for our Savior. We would all bundle up in our handmade mittens, hats and scarves and drudge out through the white fluffy snow to find that perfect tree. We would cut down a tree that was hundreds of feet tall, or so it seemed! Then Dad would cut of the top and drag it back home.

So, our home was no longer ours. We had to say good bye. We didn’t have to leave the neighborhood that we loved and that was a blessing. It was hard at first to make that change. We moved across the street to our Grandmother’s house.
Gram had an attic that was such a neat place to go. You walked slowly up the steep old stairs into a dusty dark room. It had two windows, but it was still dark. The wood floor was covered in a thick layer of dust. There were crates and boxes full of books. There were shelves filled with books. There were trunks filled with treasures and there was a huge Bear skin hanging from the ceiling in the back corner. It was a treat to go up into Gram’s attic and look for a treasure. The creepiest part for me was that there were bats living in the bear skin. It was a neat place to be to get your imagination flowing.

This attic was now going to be our home. Yuck, you must be thinking! We took many hours to clean that attic. Everything was taken out. The floor boards were swept and re-swept. Then the construction began. I don’t remember much of it but I remember being excited for something new. The floor boards were taken out and cleaned and a new floor was put in. There were three bedrooms, a living room, a kitchen, a laundry room and a bathroom. The old attic floor boards were then cleaned and cut to the right length and put on the walls in the living room. They only went about half way up the wall.

So, things changed. We moved into our new home. But the same things were still being done. We were still taught the gospel of Jesus Christ in our home. We showed love one to another. We were still a family.

The next change that happened, that I can remember, is that I moved out with a friend. I was practicing my independence! That didn’t last long. A few months later, I met Todd and then moved back home to save up for a wedding. Many changes happened after Todd and I got married…but the same things were going on at home. Todd and I have tried to continue those same principles that we were taught in our home. The biggest change for me came when, after being married for almost 5 years, Todd approached me about moving to Missouri; his home state; his home; his friends. I prayed and prayed and wanted desperately to do what Heavenly Father wanted me to do. I wanted to stay at home. It was safe and comfortable. I wanted to be near my family and friends. It was comfortable near them. Then my answer came. It was a hard answer and harder to share with my family. I felt like my heart was being ripped from my chest. I cried and pleaded with the Lord hoping that I had misunderstood, but the answer was still the same. We needed to move. More than that, we would be okay. So, we packed up our things. Todd went out to his new job in Missouri while I stayed to pack the rest of the house. I was pregnant with Max at the time and prayed for help daily. Heavenly Father blessed me immensely. I made it through.

Max was 2 weeks old, we had just celebrated Christmas, and we packed up the u-haul and moved to Missouri. I was miserable. I was okay for the first part because my Mom came with me. She was my link to home. Then she had to go back home to Maine and I had to learn to fend for myself.

Things changed!!! Again!

For about 8 months I hated Missouri. I hated where I was and I hated life. I was depressed. Then one day I realized that if I didn’t pull myself out of this slump I would be miserable forever. I didn’t want that. So, I embarked on making a change in my attitude. And…things changed yet again. After about 2 years of living in Missouri I began to see the good. My heart had changed. I had accepted that God wanted me and my little family here. We may have changed, our hearts may have changed, the location of our home may have changed but what was taught in our homes had not. We continue to teach our children daily to love our Father in Heaven and our Savior Jesus Christ. We continue to teach them about the gospel of Jesus Christ. We continue to try to show love to one another within our home.

So, a lot has changed over the years and my anxiety over change isn’t as bad as it used to be. I look at things differently now. We will go where the Lord wants and needs us to go. We will make a home where ever we are. We will find friends where ever we are.

Change is good. It may not be easy but it is good. It helps us grow. I know I am a better, stronger person because of all of the changes that have occurred in my life. I am so thankful for all of my many wonderful and numerous blessings. I am thankful to be where I am and to know that Heavenly Father wants me here and has a plan for me and my family.

Life changes and we need to change with it or get lost in the shuffle and could become depressed. I am so glad I pulled myself out of that depression and changed my heart.

Thinking positively!

My sister, Juli, is her visiting. That in itself brings a smile to my face! She was able to come out for about 10 days this time. We are having a good time. Tomorrow we get to do our traditional shopping at Gordman's! I don't go unless we have family in town. It ends up being a treat for both of us!

I have had a not so nice experience this week with some internet fraud. It's amazing to me how dishonest people can be. I have started using cloth diapers, which Todd strongly dislikes. I have been purchasing them on a sight where you can get good used diapers to try at lower prices. Unfortunately a woman decided to scam some of us out of some money. So, now I am feeling very cautious and maybe a little paranoid about purchasing any more. I am having to file reports to the FBI and the IA local police. No fun!

But on a happier note...I really like these diapers. Todd on the other hand...does not. They can be messy but I am looking at the future when they save us money on diapers. And...I can re-sell them to someone who wants them when I am through with them. I see it as a win win situation. :) But...how do you convince Todd? He is very much a man of convenience when he can be. These cloth diapers are not necessarily convenient. I have to carry a wet bag (for dirty diapers), extra diapers (which are much thicker than disposables), and cloth wipes. Really, it isn't that much more. He just thinks that cleaning the dirty diapers is gross! Then there is a part of me that knows I will be losing some of my help if I continue with cloth. Todd is awesome at helping change diapers, among many other things. He had always been very helpful with the kids. So, if he doesn't like the cloth diapers he doesn't like to change them and...there goes some of my help. Oh...what to do...

This week we have gone to a Royals baseball game where they played against the Minnesota Twins. That was surprisingly fun! The boys really seemed to enjoy it. Max got tired after a while and wanted to go home, but did really well considering. The best part was that it was a really good game. TJ was cheering right along with everyone else. He was really into the game. It was so fun to see his excitement. And boy can he cheer loudly!!! I'm surprised he didn't lose his voice.

Today we went to the Deanna Rose Children's Farmstead in Kansas. We have gone there one other time and the kids really enjoyed it. So I thought they would like it again, but the excitement apparently wore off. It just didn't hold their attention like it did the first time. We suggested the KC Zoo for Friday but Todd didn't like that idea, so we decided that we will go the movies instead. We never get to go to the movies anymore because it just costs too much. This will be a fun treat for the kids.

Well, I think I will go sit on the couch with Todd and relax for a few minutes before I head to bed. I'm keeping a smile on my face and a prayer in my heart!