Good times!

WooHoo! I just broke the 150 mark!! I am so excited! This has been hard for me. Hard how, you ask? I hate not being able to just eat what I want, when I want. I have struggled with it. I am a muncher. I like sitting with a bag of chips and just munching. Which is totally bad. So, I eat lots of veggies and salads and then at the end of the day I have left over points so I can eat a FEW munchies. They are measured portions though. So, I'm doing it, but there are some things that I wish I could have, but I just won't allow myself to waste points on them. I can finally eat chocolate though and I have found that the fun size 3Musketeers bars are low in points. So I can have one or two and get my chocolate fix and move on.

Mother's Day has come and gone. This one was only eventful because I spoke in sacrament meeting. It was interesting. Todd left Saturday morning to go to Puerto Rico! He got in late that night, but on Sunday they were tourists. Oh...he has such a hard job! He is working during the days, but then they go out to eat, shopping, swimming on the beach, and who knows what else! My talk went really well. Thanks to Brother Sorrento and Cheyanne (our neighbor) who watched the boys, I was able to talk without worrying about the kids. Brother Helm had the pleasure of taking Alyssa for me. I truly believe that Heavenly Father blessed me that day. I didn't feel overwhelmed and stressed. It went smoothly. When others started to call to see how I was doing I realized how crazy it must have looked to everyone! But miraculously I felt at peace. Thank goodness. What a great blessing.

We are looking forward to going to Maine this summer. We will get to be there for three weeks. My best friend,Kristy, is getting married during that time. That will be fun. Juli is having back surgery and will be in pain, so we get to take care of her and entertain her. Then my grandmother will be there for a while too. It is going to be a good trip.

I am taking a rest today. I don't sleep well when Todd is away. I did better when he was gone more often, but am out of practice now. That doesn't mean I want him to be gone more again! We are contemplating adopting a dog so that I can deal with it better. When we were in Maine we had a husky named Malachi who made me feel so much safer with Todd away. Todd used to work in New York during the week and then could only come home on weekends. It has awful! That horrid job is part of why we moved to Missouri. Anyway...I thought that if we got a dog, after our trip to Maine, then it could make me feel more safe. We shall see!

The weather in Missouri has been mild lately. I love having the windows open and letting fresh air in.

Oh, last Friday I sanded, primed and painted Colin's and Max's room. It took all day. Colin helped paint and I took pix of him. He did a great job! Max helped a little too. Then Todd did the very top trim, because I was exhausted! Saturday morning, before Todd went to Puerto Rico, we moved the boys' bed and dressers into the room! Then we put up Alyssa's crib in the now empty room. All I need to do now is fix holes in Alyssa's wall, prime and paint. Then we move on to my room. It is the nastiest light yellow paint on half of the room and flowery wall paper on the other half. YUCK...with a capital Y! I am sure that will take me longer to do, but at least one room is complete!

The boys are really into these Bakugan toys. TJ has the most, but all the boys have a few. They are small round balls the size of a walnut. When you roll them onto the cards, which have metal inside, they pop open and reveal a creature. Each one has a power level. Anyway, they are really enjoying them.

School is almost over and soon we will be into Summer School. This is the first place I have ever been where it is something they encourage all students to attend. It is really fun. TJ is signed up to do the CSI class, Alex is in the Sports Medicine class and Colin will be in a class. Max won't be going because they will not provide a Para Professional for him. But that is just fine with me. Summer school is only half a day for four days a week. On the fourth day if they have had perfect attendance they are allowed to swim for free at the pool. The only downfall is that they have to be on the bus at 7:30am. That means I have to get up earlier. Another YUCK! But it will be good too. Colin will get familiar with the school and hopefully make some new friends. I can't believe he starts kindergarten in the fall. Holy Moly!

Alyssa is saying dadadada, and babababa. She is so cute. I find that I don't like putting her in the boys old clothes. I love putting her in girlie clothing. She is so cute in pink and purple. I like the cute little jeans they make for them and the little t-shirts. I don't do too frilly though. I can't stand anything too lacy. I am still a tom boy at heart! But I want my baby to be cute too. I tried some bows on a couple of Sundays but they just get in the way. So, we just settle for a cute dress. I love second hand shops too. Then I can get some of the cute name brand items at a very small cost. The other day I splurged and got an adorable pair of Gymboree jeans for her that cost me $7. That is a lot for me to spend. The most I usually spend is about $3.50 if it is in really good condition. And if it isn't really cute, I won't buy it.

Alyssa sits on her own, for the most part, and is eating little bits of food. She hates pureed food like apples and pears. So, we skipped the first baby food and we are doing table food. She is usually happy.

I'm going to go do some more laundry and clean the house. I need to get something done!

Being A Mommy!

I wrote this back in 2003 and sometimes I just have to read it and remind myself why I am a Mom and why I love it! If you have already read this before, sorry! But I needed it today!

Being a Mommy!
By Kara Cantwell
March 22, 2003

Life as a Mom has its many ups and downs. Just like everyday life, we Moms go through our rollercoaster days! But when you think about it, you realize that all of those nasty, awful days could never outweigh the wonderful ones. The days that you go to clean the mirrored sliding closet doors and you find tiny little finger prints that your little shadows have smeared with slobber or whatever food or lollipops they were eating, and you realize how precious those tiny little hands really are. They won’t stay small for long. Those silly little belly laughs that make you grin spontaneously are what keep you going from day to day. Hearing the imagination of an almost 5 year old amazes you because you realize that they hear everything that you say. There is nothing in the whole entire world more rewarding and more wonderful than being blessed every day with spirits from Heavenly Father. He didn’t send them to torment us, although some days we feel like He might have! He sent them to teach us. Are we like little children? That is what we need to be. My children get so excited to find that beautiful glowing ball in the sky at night. “Look, Look, Look, Momma.” they exclaim. And you had better answer them the first time because they will repeat it until you do. “What”, I say. To which they reply, “The Moon!” The many creations of this world constantly amaze those sparkling little eyes! Ever noticed how the smallest touch from Mom can calm them? God has put within us something that we may never understand, the power to sooth and comfort. A big grin from Mom can almost always put a quick smile on the face of a sad toddler. To hold a baby, to listen to the noises and babblings and sounds they are trying to make, to look deep into their eyes and feel of their love makes you feel as if you have almost caught a glimpse of the kind of unconditional love that the Savior, Jesus Christ has for each of us. When they climb onto your lap and put their tiny little arms around you and lay their head on your shoulder, you are bound to be moved by the warm feeling that tingles through your body. There is nothing in the whole world more wonderful than the blessing of being allowed to raise the beautiful spirits that Heavenly Father has given you. No one can ever explain to you before you become a Mom how it will affect your life. So, if you ever wonder if you will make it through this day, you will. Remember the awesome days, the moments in your life that sparkle in your memory. God gave us the bad so that we could appreciate the good. Here is your chance. On your bad day, be thankful for all of those wonderful, unexplainable moments with your children. I know Heavenly Father will bless us with more!

Things that make me smile!

Baby belly laughs.
Alex singing songs from Disney Channel while making his breakfast.
Max playing with my hair.
TJ singing to his new MP3 player that his favorite Uncle Will gave him for his birthday.
Todd wrestling on the floor with the boys.
Todd coming home for lunch every day just to see me.
Reading a great email, or blog.
Reading a passage of scripture that touches my heart.
The feeling of peace that the Spirit can bring when you need it most.
Knowing that I am loved by many many people.
Mud season in Maine!
Rabbits on the back lawn.
Cardinals in our bird feeder.
Boys playing outside in the warm weather.
Children laughing
Sleep
Having a family
A new meal that turns out good!
Exercising
"The Sound of Music" where she sings about her favorite things.
Baby animals
The smell of lilacs

I could go on and on forever! I needed a moment to remember what makes me happy. It always makes me feel better when I blog and today I think I really needed that. I am so grateful to be so blessed. I have four wonderful boys who learn each day and who teach me to be a better parent each moment. I am so far from perfect, but I like to think that I am improving as the years go by.

I love taking pictures. I took time off from wedding photography to have a sweet baby. When I think about doing weddings again I have no desire. I love doing family photos. There really isn't a lot of money in doing them, but I love it. I would rather help people have pictures on their wall that are current than see the 10 year old photos around their homes. I love taking random pictures of my kids. Whether or not they are good matters not. The fact of the matter is that "good" is in the eye of the beholder, so really ALL photos are good. If it make me happy and brings joy to grand parents and aunts and uncles then it is all worth it.

Alyssa is now six months old. I can't believe it. The time has flown by. I love being a Mom. There are days that I want to rip my hair out, but I go to sleep and with the sun rises a new day and a new start. My hair is still in my head. My children are all alive and well, as I have not strangled any of them.

I hope each of you is enjoying this wonderful time of year. I love watching the trees and flowers bloom and the animals come out of their winter homes. Think about something that makes you smile! Then pass it on!

The Joys of cooking new things!

I love to try new recipes and see if I can make them come out right. I made some gluten free/dairy free bread this afternoon and my hopes were high. If you have baked with gf flour before you know that it is a little more tricky than regular white flour. So, I got all of these new ingredients and put them together. I followed the instructions and...when I took it out it had collapsed in the middle. BUMMER! But the good thing is that it smells good and still tastes good. So, it isn't a failure, just a good learning experience. I figure that each time it comes out funny, I learn something new and work my way toward becoming a pro.

For those who are wondering...my ear is getting better. It is still ringing, but I can hear much more with it. The end is in sight!

Colin decided today while I was baking the bread that he would stomp on the floor in the kitchen. I asked him to stop so that the bread wouldn't fall, ha ha ha, and he looked at the floor and stomped for all he was worth. So, maybe the whole problem is just...Colin, NOT my baking skills!

Alex got an award today for bringing his grades up. Having extra help is really making a difference.

Last night all the boys went to Wal*Mart with Todd to spend their birthday money. They all came home with BAKUGAN toys. For those who have no idea what in the world that is: it is a small sphere about the size of a walnut. When you put it on a metal surface if pops open. They are different colors and each of them have certain strengths. I guess they can be used as a game between two players. They sat at the table for quite a while just checking out their new toys and comparing them. They went to bed happy!

Alyssa is 5 1/2 months old and she is turning over from back to tummy and back again. She doesn't really like rice cereal or apple sauce, so I put a piece of apple in one of those mesh things (they are for babies!) and she got to suck and gnaw on the apple without any worry of choking. She loved it. Excuse me! What is the difference between an apple chunk and apple sauce? Just wondering!

We finally got the wall paper removed in the boys' old room upstairs and now we need to repair the wall and paint it! We were going to do that this weekend but Todd's brother needs some help, so we are putting it off for a little bit.

Do you ever just want to eat with out thinking about it? I do!!!! I think I need a bit of a break, but I don't want to completely ruin what I have accomplished. I have decided that I need to just keep plugging away and save the splurging for special occasions. I could sit and eat a whole bag of cheese its if I had the chance. That is just bad. I think I will hold off until I can eat chocolate again. Then I can splurge!!!

Todd's outside stomping down the mole tunnels so that tomorrow we can find the active ones and put poison in them. Sorry, to all you animal lovers, but we tried the humane way and the lawn got so much more horrible. I swear we have enough moles for the whole neighborhood. But last year the neighbor treated his lawn and they came over to us! What about what we did to treat the lawn? I guess it didn't work. So, watch your step...it might cave in.

Ahhh...it's General Conference time again!

I am blessed at this time to be able to sit in my own living room and watch General Conference on my own TV. And since I am not feeling up to going much of anywhere it is nice to be able to stay caught up...and not miss anything.

I loved the first talk. Mind you I can't remember his name at this point, but he was right after President Monson. What I got from his talk was awesome. I have heard this information before but I think I was at the right place for it to penetrate my heart.

I am going to write my thoughts after this talk.

So often we think we NEED new things. For example, we might think we need a new car, a new purse, a new jacket or new kitchen gadget, but they aren't really needs, but wants. That new movie does not NEED to adorn our shelves.

I have been caught in the trap of feeling like I needed to buy all the new movies that we like right when they hit the shelves. I have done this for too long and am trying like crazy to only rent them at the Redbox instead. Then I am making a list of the ones we like the best and they can be purchased later as a gift for Christmas or birthday.

Just because we see a new car and want it doesn't mean we need it. I loved how this brother talked about how he and his wife would discuss these things. They would decide what they could afford and move forward. We might have the money for it, but we probably should be saving that money for other things like: our sons' missions, or their education, or for car repairs or home repairs, or even for that family vacation.

We are focusing all of our money right now to save for a family vacation to see our family. What is more fun and more memorable then spending quality time with grand parents, aunts, uncles and old friends? We get to go 4-wheeling, swimming in the lake, walking the rocks at the ocean and many more things. Every time the kids ask if they can have something I tell them, "We don't have the money right now." Then they ask, "Why not?" And I respond, "Would you like to go to Maine to visit Gramma and Papa, Grandma and Grandpa, Aunt Juli & Uncle Scott, Uncle Doug & Aunt Heidi?" To which they reply, "Yes!" And I say, "Then we need to save ALL of our money to do that." Then they go off on their way. They do ask me this question many times a week, but I keep reminding them of our goal.

So, after this awesome talk I am more dedicated to our cause. I am more focused on getting things paid for with cash, paying off debt and living within our means. So what if our couch is worn...so what if our table is a little too snug...so what if our bed is a little creaky...we have more than most and have more than sufficient for our needs. We are so blessed. I am so grateful to a loving Father in Heaven who blesses us with so much in abundance. So, the new furniture will wait, the new table will wait and the new bed will wait. There will always be new items to buy, but they won't always be a necessity. They would be a luxury. I would rather have worn out furniture and a basement full of our years supply of food. Wouldn't you?

Okay, I'll get off the soapbox now. Today while I was showering, Colin brought me in some flower (dandelions)and put them on the bathroom counter for me. I smiled when I got out of the shower to dry off and saw their bright yellow blossoms lying there for me. It was a gesture to show how much Colin thinks of me and loves me. How sweet. Then when I went into my bedroom I found another little pile of the same bright yellow blossoms on the corner of my bed with a note saying, "Love Alex". A smile spread across my face as I felt so much love and affection from these small and simple deeds. These young men may get on my nerves at times, but they are so sweet. Again I am blessed.

Alyssa woke up with a huge smile on her face. All I have to do is say HI to her and she grins so big, it seems to over take her face. Her eyes sparkle and her cheeks get pudgier. I stop brushing out my hair and peek at her on my bed just so I can see that adorable little smile, just for me.

TJ decided the boys were all going to play Marvel characters. So, he helped each of his brother find an old Halloween costume to put on. Max is Spider Man. Alex is the black Spider Man. Colin is the Human Torch and TJ is the Thing. They are playing outside together and working to save the world...one butt kicking at a time. I hope that one day they will "save the world" by sharing the gospel and bringing light to those who are in darkness. We have talked before about the fact that our Savior, Jesus Christ, is the biggest and best of the Super Heroes.

So, on with my day. I am rejuvenated, clean and smelling good, and Spiritually fed! Now I just need to hear again!!! This too shall pass, as my seminary teacher, Janice Record used to say!

I want a Special Diet too!

The hearing is no better today, but I am hoping and praying that it will be better soon!

I am spending some time today online searching for Stevia. It is a natural sweetener. I want it in bulk, not in little packets.

I love researching online, but find that it could take up my whole day if I let it!

Alyssa is in her exersaucer and is talking. Colin is watching Tarzan.

After talking to a friend the other day about Max and Autism, I realized that I hadn't seen things as clearly as I should. Max has fewer and fewer tantrums and I told her that he didn't really have any lately. Well...then he had one. Let the kicking and screaming begin! He stomps his feet, screams at the top of his lungs, slams doors (which makes pictures fall off the wall sometimes), hits, pulls hair, or shoves anyone close to him. Don't raise your voice, cause it will make it worse. Yikes! I think sometimes we forget when things are going so well how bad they can get.

We don't take Max to Walmart or any other store because he can't handle it. He hates it when we are watching a show or movie and have to shut it off when it is in the middle. He freaks out. So, stay out of his way. We went to Culver's a few weeks ago and I forgot Max's enzymes. So, I had to go back home and get them. The problem was that Max chose to stay at Culver's with Daddy and the rest of his brothers who were eating. When I got there and ordered his patience was thin. It took a few minutes to get the food to us. Max was less than pleased with me. He wanted to pull my hair and hit me. I told him he could not hit and that he needed to be nice to me and that the food would be here in a few minutes. Finally, the food came and he ate. These are the times that you hope that he doesn't go onto a huge meltdown right in Culver's at dinner time. Luckily he didn't. But next time we might not be quite so lucky.

Don't get me wrong, most of the time he is pretty happy. He is sweet and can be very affectionate. He just has his moments...just like we all do...it is just a lot harder for Max.

The new gluten free diet for Alex is going well. We ran out of bread and I haven't felt well enough to make more. I did make him waffles this morning though. I am working on getting more ingredients for my gluten free cabinet so I can make him more bread, pizza crust and other items. I am going to try pizza for him with no cheese. He said he would eat it, so we will see.

Colin keeps asking when he can have a special diet. Man, if he only knew. I try to make food items that I can make for all the family like: chocolate chip cookies, or pancakes and waffles, etc. I first clean the kitchen VERY thoroughly. Then I make the gluten free food, get it all put into a container and put it away. Then I make the regular food. Sometimes I just don't have a gluten free version though. Last night we ate scrambled eggs and tator tots. Okay, that probably wasn't the healthiest idea, but man I don't think well when I can't hear.

I will hopefully feel well enough to make pizza tonight. Then all will be happy! I have to research one ingredient though before I can make Alex's pizza. So fun! I learn something new every day!

What...what's that you say...come again...

I have been struggling this past week with an ear infection. Oh my word. I am so glad that I don't remember these from childhood. The first day was a little sore, the second day was a little more painful and then that evening I sat on the couch in tears. This is what our children go through. Holy Cow!!!

Todd came home from his week in Michigan with this sickness. And then I promptly got it about a week or so later. He had to have 2 rounds of antibiotics and steroids. The ringing is still in his ear.

So, I have only had 7 days of an antibiotic and today my other ear is clogged up. The ringing in my right ear is so bad that I can not hear much of anything at all in it. I can't hear the kids. They are all frustrated because Daddy had it first and now Mom is sick with it. And it is just lasting for ever! So, I have been trying to get things done, but talking on the phone is hard because I have to use the better of the two ears and then I can't hear out of the other ear if the kids need me. So, I am constantly checking on the kids if I have to be on the phone. So, don't be surprised if I don't answer the phone. Just leave a message and I will return your call when I can hear again!

Yesterday, while I was feeling a little better, Colin and I made cookies. That was fun. He sat on the counter and scooped ingredients and poured them into the bowl. He even cracked the eggs. Then he decided that it was gross on his fingers, so I could do it. We also sat and read a book together.

I am really trying to make this worth while for him to be at home and yet a part of me just wants to sit and do nothing cause my ear is ringing and I can't hear much. Poor excuse. I tried to exercise yesterday but that made it worse. So, I won't do that until I am better.

I am proud of myself today. I have lost 13.6 pounds since the first of January. That is a total of 32.6 pounds since Lyssy-loo loo was born!! Not bad...not bad. I still have another 16.4 to go to get to Pre-Alyssa weight. I CAN DO IT!!! When you gain 49 pounds with a pregnancy it can take a little while to lose it all!

I love to write. I am not always very creative when writing on my blog but I can be when I write stories. I have put off writing because...who knows...there are just other things to do. Then I watched a little clip on U-tube by President Uchtdorf. My favorite line was at the end. "The more you trust and rely upon the Spirit, the greater your capacity to create!" I just need to listen to the promptings. I have felt like I should just sit down and do it, but haven't made the time. Plus, I hate sitting downstairs at the computer. I want to be on the couch. Maybe...a laptop in the future...in the far future probably...but maybe. Anyway. I guess I should just let those creative juices start to flow and get myself writing again...even if it is just for my close friends. Who knows!

Lyssy-loo loo is talking to her toys! I better go while she is still happy!